Protection
by Neonculr
Summary: I was born frail. At one point in my life, I was almost unable to breathe by myself. So, why am I at Ouran Academy with my brothers and sisters, friends with a boy named Haruhi Fujioka, and visiting the Host Club secretly? And, why is my family acting strangely? Oh, sorry everybody, I have to take my medicine! Read to find out the rest! (Picture found on Google Images)
1. Chapter 1

Protection:

I looked out my window as I always had when I woke up. This morning I had woken up a few minutes early, so I took the time of silence to enjoy myself. The bustle of maids sounded outside and sighed, longing to go out there with them and walk around. I hated lying in this bed all the time. I wanted to be like Sister and Sis, free to do whatever I wanted. All I ever wanted was to get up and walk with them.

I was very frail. I'd been born that way; unable to bathe or dress myself, hardly capable of eating or drinking the food given to me. Just because I was born this way doesn't mean I can't hate it.

My legs felt restless. My legs had an irrepressible urge to move so I wiggled my toes, but they were still restless. I tried bending my knees a little, attempting to calm my nerves, but that wasn't enough. Thoughts swam around in my head, and the idea that kept popping up made me anxious. Shakily, I pulled the covers off of me, and slowly placed my feet on the floor.

The feeling of the carpet tickled my feet, and as I sat up I curled my toes. My back felt unusually firm, and my legs seemed like they were on fire.

Hesitantly I started putting more weight on my feet, and I rose up off the bed. My right arm was placed firmly on my nightstand, but as my feet got more comfortable holding my weight I relied on them more.

I stood for the first time on my own, and the excitement I couldn't contain made me tremble. My body literally shook, and I couldn't tell if I was about to collapse or if I was just super excited.

I placed my left hand on the side of the bed and rested some weight on it, and with more hesitation I lifted my foot. I placed it a little before me, and set it back down on the ground. My other foot followed it, and soon I'd taken my hand off the bed.

I was suddenly at the door, and just as I reached for the doorknob I came face to face with my personal maid.

"Mistress..." She said in disbelief.

"Ma'am... I think I'm getting better." I said happily, tears streaming down my face as I smiled.

My sisters passed in the hall, and they dropped the breakfast in their hands as they stared at me. "Sissy... You're up on your own?"

I nodded.

I was the second born in a set of triplets. There was Madilyn, the oldest, Grace, the youngest, and me. I had a younger brother named Bryce, five years my junior, and two older siblings, both one year my senior. Their names were Keith, the younger one, and his twin was named Joshua. All my siblings visited me often, and I loved them all very much. Mother and Father saw me every day, no matter what. When they went off overseas, they'd contact me and the rest of my siblings over video chat.

Mrs. Fei laid me back in bed, not wanting me to stress my body. Everyone was alerted, and Father insisted I start physical therapy more rigorously. We all agreed.

Four years later...

"Sissy! Sissy! Are you excited!?" My little brother asked.

"I'm more than excited. I'm so happy I can go to actual school now." I replied.

"You gotta eat lots so you have energy! And don't forget to take your medicine!"

"I won't forget, silly. Aren't you excited? You'll see Kaylee today."

"Kaylee has cooties!" He retorted.

"Okay, okay. Just make sure you don't make her cry again."

"I'm going to say sorry today. I have chocolate for her too."

"Good boy." I said, patting his head.

Just then my older brothers walked in, rowdy and noisy as usual. They were fraternal, unlike my sisters and me. They were both football nuts and goofballs, but their individual talents were completely different. Keith was an aspiring animator, and Joshua was the greatest chef I'd ever seen.

"Mornin sunshine! You ready to come to school with us?" Keith asked, sitting in the chair opposite of me.

"I think so. What's it like there?" I asked.

"It's a pretty normal school, but all of us want to give you some advice." Joshua said.

"What is it?"

"Stay away from the Host Club." Both the twins and my sisters said.

"Host Club? You mean like where girls can pay to see men? Isn't that illegal?"

"I don't think they charge, but that's not the problem. I don't want you to get mixed up with them because they're trouble." Madilyn said.

"Yeah. They're always noisy and cause lots of drama. I don't want you, being as you are, to get caught up in that." Grace added.

"Okay. I'll stay away from there." I said.

"We also want you to know that no matter what you can always call us. With the four of us going to school with you one of us should be able to help you at any time." Keith said, beginning to harf down his breakfast.

"Especially if someone picks on you. Just holler for one of us and we'll come running." Joshua said through his mouthful of food.

"Thank you all, but I think I'll be okay. I'm excited to finally experience something new. Maybe I can make some friends, too!" I said happily.

Mother entered the room, her hair in a mess and her makeup undone.

"Mornin mom!" Everyone said.

"Good morning, Mother. You look nice today." I said as she walked by.

"Morning, kids. Are you all off to school?" She asked.

"Yeah! It's Sissy's first day at normal school!" Bryce exclaimed.

Mother's eyes widened and tears filled them shortly after. "My baby... Are you sure you're ready for this?"

"Yes, ma'am. I've been waiting for this for a long time. I'll make you proud. I promise." I said.

"Come on, Sissy! If you don't hurry up we'll be late!" Grace called from the car.

I kissed and hugged Mother goodbye and climbed in the car.

Today is my new start.

Grace held my right hand and Madilyn held my left, walking me through the campus before school started. Bryce had been dropped off at Ouran Elementary, and the twins went off with their football buddies.

"This place is so big! I thought high school would be simpler..." I said.

Just then the bell rang and the girls led me to class.

"We have a different class than you, but we have a good friend named Kasa Mei who will look after you. You've met her a few times at home." Madilyn said.

"Okay. You girls should get to class. I don't want you to be late because of me." I replied.

I reached my classroom in time and Kasa Mei waved to me.

"Maydahl Josephine?" She asked.

"Please, call me Jo. It's nice to meet you again, Miss Kasa." I said, sitting down beside her.

"I forgot! You're a polite one, aren't you?" She asked jokingly.

"Mrs. Fei brought me up this way. Father is also very polite, is I guess it stuck with me mostly." I replied, laughing a little.

"It's quite a change seeing you go from bed bound to attending school. It's kind of a miracle."

"A miracle? That's a bit exaggerated, don't you think?"

"Yeah, that's a bit farfetched. But I still think it's an impressive improvement."

"Thank you." I replied, giggling a little.

Class was over with fairly quickly, and we had a few extra minutes before lunch. I took out a piece of lined paper and began writing a letter to my dad.

'Dear Dad,

I haven't seen you in a long time... And I can't help but worry. When you talk to me over the laptop you look very sick. Please take care of yourself, and don't push yourself either. On a different note, I'm having lots of fun at high school. Madilyn and Grace are helping me make friends, and Joshua and Keith invited me to watch them practice. I feel like this is going to be a good year. I hope to see you soon. I love you.

Your loving daughter,  
Jo'

I placed the paper carefully in my backpack just as the bell rang, and lunch started.

Madilyn and Grace met me outside my classroom and escorted me to the lunchroom, each one of them holding one of my hands. They sat me down at a table, and went off to get me lunch.

"Excuse me, is this seat taken?" A young boy asked.

"Oh, no. You can sit there." I said, smiling.

"Thank you. I don't usually eat in the lunchroom, so I was worried if I'd have a place to sit." He said, placing a boxed lunch on the table as he sat down.

"Oh, I'm sorry. My name is Maydahl Josephine. Nice to meet you." I said, extending my hand out to him.

"Oh, I'm sorry too. My name is Fujioka Haruhi. Nice to meet you."

Just then Madilyn and Grace came back, and when they saw Fujioka their expressions grew dark.

"Sissy, what are you doing with one of the Host Club boys?" Madilyn snarled.

"What? Fujioka, you're in the Host Club?"

"Yeah, I was kind of forced into it though..." He mumbled.

"Sister, Sis, can Fujioka please sit with us, just for today? Please?" I asked.

"...Fine. But that's it." Grace replied.

"Thank you!" I replied happily.

The bell rang after pleasant conversation, and secretly I'd exchanged contact information with Fujioka. I assumed both Madilyn and Grace would get mad at me if they knew, so I kept my mouth shut.

After learning about English sentence structure I stood outside my classroom for a few minutes, waiting for my brothers to show up. When they didn't, I figured they wanted me to go to the field by myself. I wandered the halls for a few minutes when I heard lots of chatter from one room, and I figured I could ask someone how to get to the field.

I opened the door, and rose petals filled my vision. A room filled with couches and tables emerged from them, and saw a group of boys.

Oh no... This must be the Host Club!

I was about to turn around and run, but a blonde haired boy noticed me.

He was suddenly in front of me with a red rose.

"Hello, Princess. This must be your first time in the Host Club. May we assist you?"

"Um, I-I'm sorry Sir. I came in to the wrong room-"

"Wrong room? My dear, the rest of this hall is empty. I see, you're embarrassed as a first timer." He concluded.

The boy snapped his fingers and a pair of twins appeared at my sides. Their hands snaked around me and I got really uncomfortable, and my face turned red when I realized everyone was looking at me.

"This must be Josephine Maydahl, the middle sibling of Grace and Madilyn Maydahl, and younger sister of Joshua and Keith Maydahl. I didn't know you had come to school this year." A boy with glasses said. "Is that correct?"

"U-um, yes Sir." I said, squirming to try and get away from the twins.

"So Princess Josephine, what's your type?" The blonde boy asked, holding out the rose for me again.

"My type Sir? I don't understand-"

"The wild type?" He said, gesturing to a tall man who scared me.

"The boy Lolita type?" He continued, gesturing to a significantly smaller boy.

"The little devil type?" The twins whispered in my ears.

"The cool type?" He asked, referring to the boy with glasses.

"The natural type?" He asked, standing behind a Fujioka.

I was about to say hello to him, but the blond boy suddenly appeared in front of me and placed his finger under my chin, lifting my face up to meet his.

"Or maybe... You'd like to try me? How about it?"

He's too close! These twins are touching me too much! Everybody's looking at me! I'm not strong enough to get away from them, and even if I was I'm so scared I can't move!

I was used to being helpless, but I wasn't used to having one of my siblings not at my side. Being genuinely scared was new to me, even though I was generally sure no real harm would come my way at the moment.

Tears started to fill my eyes, and the blonde boy's eyes widened.

Fujioka smacked Tamaki on the back of the head and said, "For a Host Club member, you sure don't know when to back off." He smiled at me and asked, "Are you alright?"

He handed a handkerchief to me, and I smiled as I took it from him.

"Yes, I'm sorry. It just startled me how forward he was. I'm not used to being around boys much..." I replied, handing the handkerchief back to him.

Suddenly my brothers burst in to the room, out of breath and frantic. Everyone jumped at the sudden slam of the door, and once my brothers saw me surrounded by everyone, tears still present in my eyes, they got furious.

Joshua pulled me into his arms and Keith got in the blonde boy's face, grabbing his collar and getting ready to yell.

"Suoh! What did I tell you about getting close to my sister!? I told you that if any of you got close to her, there'd be hell to pay!"

Wait... It's not his fault...

Keith continued to yell, and I noticed that he was getting too carried away. As soon as his fist rose up in the air, my natural sense of defense took over.

"Keith!" I exclaimed, pushing my way out of Joshua's arms. Keith turned to face me, still holding his fist in the air, and I spoke up.

"There's no reason for you to be yelling at him, or treating him that way! He didn't do anything wrong! I came here because I wanted to ask directions to the field, since you two didn't show up!" I stomped my foot on the ground and yelled, "Now put him down!"

Both Joshua and Keith looked at me with wide eyes, and I suddenly realized I yelled at him.

"Um... I'm sorry, but I don't like how you're treating him..."

Keith released the boy, who fell to the ground, and walked toward me. The look in his eyes scared me, and I shrunk as he got closer. Joshua put a protective hand on my shoulder, and when he was about two feet away I spoke up automatically.

"Keith, you're scaring me..." I choked, looking at him with tears eyes and trembling.

He walked straight past us and out of the room, disappearing down the staircase.

"He's mad at me..." I said, shrinking even more.

"It's okay. I'll talk to him. Come on, you need to take your medicine." Joshua said.

We both apologized to the club and left.

"See you later, Fujioka..." I said, walking out the door as I held on to Joshua's arm.

No POV:

"Medicine?" Honey repeated.

"I believe Josephine was born fragile. So frail that she almost couldn't eat by herself. In recent years her condition greatly improved, so I assume she was healthy enough to come to school this year." Kyoya said.

"She's frail...?" Tamaki repeated, looking at the door.

Kyoya surveyed Tamaki, his concerns popping up as he knew Tamaki was thinking of his mother. He kept his mouth shut, and where there should have been concern he sought amusement.

She did look a lot like Anne-Sophie. She was basically a green eyed version of her, and Kyoya knew there was no way Tamaki didn't notice.

This was sure to be interesting.


	2. Chapter 2

Josephine POV:

The next day I'd made plans with Fujioka, without letting anyone else know, and met up with him after school. I'd decided to see what the Host Club was really like, and try to find out why my siblings hated it so much.

Fujioka and I got along well, and within five minutes we were talking like best friends. He was really nice, and I liked his opinions and viewpoints on a large range of topics.

We reached the Host Club about ten minutes before it opened, so Fujioka sat me down on a couch and left to make tea.

I sat a bit awkwardly, but it seemed the Host Club didn't mind my presence much. Everyone did their own thing, and I couldn't help but feel a little lonely.

Fujioka returned with the tea and I thanked him, gently taking the cup and saucer as I sipped it. "Um, may I ask what tea this is?"

"We had it imported from Europe. Do you like it?" The boy with glasses asked.

"Yes, I do. It's got a nice flavor, but I do wish it had a bit more aroma." I said, taking another sip. "I'm sorry. I should be grateful you made a tea in the first place..."

"Do you like tea with aroma, Josephine?" Fujioka asked.

"Um, if I may..." I started, "I just think that, if you serve someone tea with aroma, it leaves a different impression on that person. It's all about the feeling. When you give someone tea with aroma, it's like you're communicating with them and saying you feel a certain way about them. It's a nice romantic gesture, but it could also be a nice way to thank someone or make them feel better."

I paused for a second and felt I had to say one more thing.

"When you gives someone tea with no aroma, it feels like you couldn't care less about them." I whispered.

I suddenly noticed the scratching of a ballpoint pen, and my attention turned to it. My eyes landed on the boy with glasses, and the light from the ceiling lights reflected off of the lenses.

"Excuse me, Sir... Is your name Ootori Kyoya?"

His eyes moved from his notebook to me. "Yes. Why?"

I smiled. "It's nice to see you again."

His pen stopped. "I'm sorry, I've met you before?"

"No, Sir, I don't believe you have. But, I'd like to thank you for saving my life."

There was a confused silence.

"I'm sorry. To be clearer, thank you for my medical care. It means the world to me." I said, bowing my head to him. I placed my cup and saucer back on the table and folded my hands in my lap. "The Ootori family has used their medical knowledge to cater to my health for as long as I can remember. You see, I was born very frail, and I was unable to do most things by myself. For the majority of my life, I couldn't even walk. About four years ago my health started improving, and now I'm finally healthy enough to go to school." I took a minute to pause and smiled. "My siblings are all very worried about me, and now they're probably going frantic looking for me."

"They don't know you're here?" The blonde boy asked.

"Oh, no. If they knew, they'd get very mad at me. They don't want be to come here because they think you all are very obnoxious, but..." My voice turned to a whisper as I said, "I like the feeling in here."

I snapped back to reality, and as I casted my head downwards I said, "I'm sorry, that was probably boring for you all to listen to..."

"You say you were born frail?" The blond boy asked, his gaze fixated on the floor.

"Yes, Sir. There was one point in my life where I almost couldn't breathe by myself. I'm thankful to the Ootori hospitals and staff for taking care of me."

Just then the sound of the clock echoed throughout the campus, and I stood up. "Oh, is it that late already? I'm sorry, everyone. If you'll excuse me, I have to go and take my medicine. I'll see you all tomorrow!"

And with a wave, I left.

Grace found me first, and her face glistened with sweat. Her breathing was ragged, and as soon as she found me she almost doubled over.

"Geez Josephine! Where were you!?" She exclaimed.

"I'm sorry. I was in the gardens." I replied.

"Next time tell one of us! Everyone is going crazy looking for you!"

"I'm sorry, I will next time." I replied.

-

Once again I went to the Host Club with Fujioka. I lied to my siblings and said I had to do something for one of my classes, so they'd meet up with me later.

"Hey Fujioka, do you like the Host Club?" I asked.

"I was forced into it, but yeah, it's fun sometimes." He replied, handing me a teacup and saucer.

I sipped the tea, and as soon as its fragrance filled my nostrils I smiled.

"This is imported from Europe, isn't it? I love this tea..." I said.

"This is different from our usual tea, but it's nice for a change of pace." Fujioka added.

"Do you think that if I came when the Host Club was open, my siblings would find out? I'd be afraid that someone would tell my brothers or sisters I was here." I asked.

"If you're that concerned about it, why do you keep coming?" The twins asked, leaning on the back of the couch Fujioka was sitting on.

I set the teacup and saucer down, thinking hard.

"I don't know. My brothers and sisters would be furious if they knew I was coming here, but I like it here. I'd be sad if I couldn't come back."

"Josephine, weren't you wandering the gardens this morning?" Tamaki asked suddenly.

I turned to look at him and smiled.

"I love those gardens. There are so many fragrances and colors. The other day I saw a box with a little bird in it. He had a hurt wing, so I gave him some seed and put him back."

"You carry around bird seed?" The twins asked.

I blushed a little and looked at the floor.

"I like birds..." I whispered.

"You're so cute, Josephine!" Honey said, smiling widely.

I blushed a little more, bringing my left hand up to my cheek.

"Thank you, Honey." I replied, smiling. "Fujioka, did you eat lunch in the classroom today? I didn't see you in the cafeteria."

"I did, why?"

"Will you eat with me in the gardens tomorrow? I'll meet you by the fountain."

He looked at me for a second. "Sure, I guess."

I smiled.

Suddenly my heart thumped and I lost my breath for a second.

"Are you okay?" Tamaki asked, putting his hand gently on my shoulder.

"Yeah, I think... This happens sometimes. I'll be fine in a minute." I replied, holding my hand over my heart.

Just then the clock rang, and I took a breath.

"I'll be going now. I'll see you all again tomorrow." I said, standing up.

"Are you sure you'll be alright?" Tamaki asked.

"Yeah, Madilyn and my brothers are waiting at the front gate."

He still didn't seem convinced.

"If you want to walk with me, that's fine. If I tell my siblings you helped me they won't get mad." I said, smiling at him.

"Okay. I'll walk you to the gate." He said, holding out his arm to me.

I took it, and we started walking.

"So Josephine, why don't your siblings like the Host Club?" Tamaki asked.

"My brothers and sisters think that you all are very obnoxious, and that being around you all won't help my condition. But, the time I've spent with you all has been fun. Even if I only get to talk with you all for about half an hour, I still would be sad if I couldn't come back."

Tamaki smiled. "Do you like Haruhi?"

I laughed. "No, not in the way you're thinking. I don't really want to feel that way about someone right now."

Tamaki looked at me strangely. "What do you mean?"

"Well, it's not like I don't ever want to feel that way, but I want to wait until I'm stronger to love somebody. I want to be able to support them, but right now I'd only be a burden on someone."

I looked at him, but it seemed as if he didn't know what to say.

"One day, maybe... maybe someone could love a girl like me."

Tamaki smiled. "That man would be very lucky."

I smiled back. "You must feel the same way, right?"

"What do you mean?"

"Well, if a Host Club member gets a girlfriend or boyfriend, I'm sure they wouldn't be able to focus much on their guests. Also, their significant other would probably get jealous. So, as a host, you don't want to fall in love, right?"

He just kind of looked at me. He seemed happy, but at the same time it seems like I'd hit a chord somewhere deep inside him.

"I bet it's hard. Every day you're surrounded by girls that like you, but somehow the thought makes me feel lonely."

"Lonely...?" He repeated.

"Yeah. You can't like one girl more than another. You have to be fair to all your guests. So, you can't fall in love with anyone so they'll be happy. It's a bit sad when you think about it."

"Nobody's really looked at it like that before." Tamaki said. "I guess you're right. Hosts have to be loyal to their guests, and falling in love would get in the way of that."

I smiled. "I think it's quite noble how you sacrifice your own happiness in order to make all those girls smile. I wish they could see how nice you really are."

Tamaki's expression was strange. He had a smile on his face, but at the same time he looked like he was about to cry.

Just then a thought occurred to me, and instead of saying it now I'd decided to ask my siblings later.

"I don't dislike Fujioka. I really like how he thinks and acts. He's courteous, but at the same time he speaks his mind. I'm sure that many people look up to him." I thought for a second, and quickly took that back. "I think it's cute how Fujioka isn't very tall."

Tamaki laughed. "Where did that come from?" He asked.

"Well, most of the girls here are around the same height as him or taller. I'm seven inches taller than him, so physically it'd be hard to look up to him."

Tamaki laughed some more, and when I looked at him I thought he was cute. He was an attractive person, like everyone in the Host Club, but in that moment I really noticed it.

"You're strange, you know that? You're a bit like Haruhi." He said.

We were almost at the gate, and I'd decided to spend the rest of my short time with Suoh laughing and having fun conversation.

"Josephine!" Grace exclaimed, running to me. She stopped short as soon as she noticed Suoh.

"Josephine, why are you with him?" Madilyn snarled.

"Suoh found me in the hallway and helped me get here safe. If he hadn't come I might have had some trouble." I said, gripping his arm tightly.

Keith glared at Suoh, and I couldn't help but feel like there was some sort of past tension between the two.

"Please don't fight. I still need to take my medicine." I said quietly.

Keith snapped out if it, and Suoh looked at me with a pained expression. Joshua took my arm, and I smiled at Suoh. "Thank you for helping me. I owe you one."

We started to walk away, but Keith stayed. He said to Suoh, "You may have taken her from me, but don't you dare try and take my sister."

And then we left.

The next morning I left my siblings again and sat in the gardens, listening to all the sounds as I held the bird in my hands. Whoever out him there first took very good care of him, but they were a bit sloppy at bandaging the wing. I'd made it a habit of mine to check on him and feed him. Since I found him I haven't seen the person who takes care of him, but I'd love to meet such a nice person.

The bird tweeted at me, and I giggled a little. He was so cute, and very friendly.

I heard a slight rustling noise, and looked up to see a red haired boy a few feet away. He looked very tough, but somehow he looked scared of me.

"Hello. Is this your bird?" I asked, smiling at him.

"H-huh? Um, no. I-I'm just taking care of him."

"That's very sweet." I said. The boy stood awkwardly at the end of that row in the garden, and I giggled slightly. "Why are you so far away? Are you scared of me?"

The boy blushed and moved closer to me, but he still kept his distance.

"Did you take care of the bird by yourself?" I asked, handing it over to him.

"No, I took it to a doctor the other day. He said the wing would heal in no time."

"That's good to hear." I replied. "My name is Josephine Maydahl. It's nice to meet you." I said.

"I'm Ritsu Kasanoda. Nice to meet you."

The bird tweeted loudly and we both looked at it.

"He's cute, but he's a bit of a brat." I said, stroking the top of its head.

Kasanoda smiled. "Yeah."

I left for class with Kasanoda, and we chatted and got friendly. He was a really nice boy, and eventually I got him to laugh.

"You know Kasanoda, you're cute when you smile." I said.

He blushed deeply, and it seemed as if he didn't know what to say. "C-cute?" He stuttered.

I smiled widely. "You're even cuter when you blush."

"Maydahl?"

I turned and saw Fujioka walking towards us.

"Good morning, Fujioka!" I said happily waving to him.

"Oh, it is you. Good morning." He replied, standing beside me. "Who's this?"

"This is my friend Ritsu Kasanoda. He's a first year like us. He's super cute." I said, smiling at them.

"You shouldn't tease people like that." He said, scolding me.

"You know Fujioka, you're cute too. If you were a girl I bet a ton of boys would fall for you."

"I doubt it. Anyway, aren't you going to be late to class?"

"Shoot! I forgot all about it! Sorry Kasanoda, but I have to hurry! Bye guys!"

I waved to them and hurried off.

I got to class on time somehow, and we started off with a boring English lesson.


	3. Chapter 3

I returned to the gardens once again at lunch time, and Fujioka met me shorty after.

"Hello, Fujioka!" I said, standing up and smiling.

"Hello. Where do you want to eat?" He asked. I saw his bento in his hands, and I held mine.

"We can eat here, and if there's extra time we can walk around."

"Sounds good." His eyes wandered to the box in my hands and he said, "You brought a boxed lunch today?"

"Yes, my brother Joshua made it for me." I replied, sitting back down.

"Does he like to cook?"

"Yes, he does. He's good at it too. He wants to start up a restaurant one day."

"Does all of your family cook?"

"No, they all have different talents. My brother Keith wants to be an animator, and he's always making flipbooks or comics. My sister Madilyn is really good at sewing, and wants to be a fashion designer. My other sister Grace is really smart, and she wants to be a doctor. My younger brother Bryce is really into technology, and I think he'll do something like working with computers. I'm sure he'll turn out to be a software or video game designer."

"That's really impressive. What do your parents do?"

"My mom and dad are entrepreneurs. They manage and own many companies and businesses in Japan and overseas."

The look on his face told me 'So that's where her money comes from.'

"What about your parents? What do they do?" I asked.

His expression looked a bit far off. "My dad used to work at a supermarket, and my mom was a lawyer."

"Was? What happened?"

"My mom died, and my dad works at a bar now."

"Oh, I'm sorry. I shouldn't have asked." I said.

"It's fine. Someone in the Host Club would have told you eventually."

I stood up, dusted off my dress, and asked, "Will you walk with me?"

Fujioka smiled.

He walked the gardens with me and we talked about our families. Memories, stories, and little tales that made us love them so much. I told Fujioka what it was like to have siblings, and he told me what it was like to be an only child.

"Weren't you lonely by yourself?" I asked.

"I guess you could say that, but I'm used to it now. Sometimes I like being by myself."

"But aren't you afraid of thunder? What about when you're alone then?"

"I just curl up and wait until it's over. It's fine, really."

"No it's not! Next time there's a thunderstorm, you'd better call me no matter how late it is! I might not be able to be around you, but I'll talk to you so you're not scared, okay?"

"Maydahl…"

"And to be fair, I'll call you when I get scared. Just promise me that you'll answer."

He nodded.

I felt someone's eyes on me and looked up towards the school building. My eyes met Tamaki's, who was in the clubroom, and I waved at him.

He flinched, but quickly waved back.

I turned back towards Fujioka and we walked on.

I met up with everyone in the clubroom after school, and as usual Fujioka made me some tea.

"Thank you." I said, accepting the cup from him and sipping the tea. "This is imported from Germany, isn't it?"

Kyoya smiled. "Yes it is. It just came in this morning."

"Say Josephine, aren't your brothers having a football game tonight?" Honey asked, plopping down next to me on the couch.

"Yes, they are. It's their first game of the year, and they've been practicing like crazy." I lowered my teacup and said, "I'm a bit concerned for them, though."

"Why's that?" The twins asked, leaning against the back of Haruhi's couch as they usually did.

"Ever since Keith got mad at me, he and Joshua have been acting a bit off. Like this morning, Joshua put eight strawberries in my bento. And yesterday, Keith didn't take a Pocky stick from the box Grace gave me."

"Who puts strawberries in a bento?" The twins commented.

"Now that I think about it, Keith and Joshua said something else…"

"You can put strawberries in bento, but it's not very common." Kyoya said.

"Wouldn't you usually put mandarin or apples in it?"

"I think putting strawberries in a bento is cute!" Honey commented.

Suddenly, it hit me.

_"You may have taken her from me, but don't you dare try and take my sister."_

He thinks Suoh will try to take me away from him!

I shot up from the couch and ran out of the music room, tearing down the stairs and out of the front door as fast as my weak legs would carry me. I knew I'd regret this later, and my body would make it hell for me, but I needed to get to Keith.

Was I almost to the front gate? Was Keith even there? Hell, would I even make it that far? My legs had become numb, and my shoes had been left behind long ago. My backpack was still in the clubroom, I hardly drank the tea Fujioka had made for me, and now Madilyn would have to repair my stockings. Even if they were all mad at me, I have to make sure Keith stops being his stubborn yet sensitive self and wins his game.

I see the gate! And Keith is there!

"Keith!" I screamed, pushing myself harder.

He looked shocked.

"Keith!" I yelled again. My heart hurt. My legs hurt. My head hurt.

"Josephine, what are you doing?" He yelled back at me.

He was coming towards me, but before he broke into a run I had reached him. My arms wrapped around his neck, and I held on to him like my life depended on it. I couldn't breathe, and tears gathered in my eyes.

"What the hell Josephine? Why were you runni-"

"Dammit Keith!" I yelled. "Why are you so stupid!?"

"What!?"

"You idiot! There's no way anybody could take me away from you guys!"

"Hey, calm down-"

"You're my brothers and sisters! Why the hell would you risk your first game over something like that!? *cough cough*"

"Josephine, I just-"

"Dammit Keith, why would you think that? *cough cough* You made Joshua so worried, he put an extra strawberry in my bento…" I said, my tears and crying becoming more apparent.

"I don't want to lose you…" He said.

"*cough cough**cough cough* That won't happen. *cough* I love you."

Keith hugged me tighter, and I tried to say more through my tears and coughing fit, but couldn't.

Keith suddenly became aware I was struggling and asked, "Where's your inhaler?"

"In the- *cough cough cough*"

Just then a group of footsteps sounded, and the Host Club showed up. They were out of breath, and I saw that Haruhi held my shoes in his hands.

"What the hell? You left your shoes behind!? You know you'll hurt your feet!" Keith exclaimed. He snatched my bag from whoever had it and dug for my inhaler, quickly setting me down and handing it to me.

I used it and calmed my breathing after several puffs, but I still cried.

"What the hell were you doing with her bag and shoes!? What did you do to her!?" Keith screamed.

"Keith, god damnit, quit assuming everything is their fault!" I yelled, my tone sharper than it had ever been.

He glared at me.

"I was at the Host Club okay!? I ran all the way from there!"

"What the hell Josephine!? Why were you at the Host Club!?"

I took a breath and stood up, a bit shakily, and faced Keith.

"I'm happy when I'm at the Host Club. I go there because it's fun."

"You're going to hurt yourself Josephine! We all warned you that they're obnoxious!"

"More obnoxious than someone who would throw a game because of jealousy? You know Keith, you're the reason I was running. Not them."

"I didn't ask you to run! Hell, I didn't ask for your help in the first place!"

"You didn't have to. You're obviously worried about something, and for some reason you're pinning everything that happens to me on the Host Club. I don't know what happened between you and Suoh, but you're being unreasonable."

"Who the hell asked for your opinion?" He snapped. He grabbed my shirt and pulled me off of the ground, causing Honey and Mori to be on edge. "You sure do have a big ass mouth for a useless weakling."

Ouch. "Keith, put me down."

"Make me."

I did nothing.

"See? You're weak. You can't do anything by yourself. Don't get ahead of yourself, or you're going to get hurt."

He dropped me and I hit the ground hard. Tamaki rushed to my side, and Keith looked like he was about to hit one of us. Mori stood between us.

Keith glared up at him, clicked his tongue, and walked away.

As his back grew smaller, I thought I heard him say, "Sometimes I wish you were never born."

"Are you alright, Josephine?" Tamaki asked.

I bit my lip.

"Joseph-"

"He didn't mean it." I said, choking it past the tears I was desperate to hide.

"Is that why you're crying?" He asked.

I looked up and he held out his hand to me.

I looked away from him.

"What's wrong?" Haruhi asked.

"…I can't stand up."

"What?"

"I overworked my legs running here, and when Keith dropped me I hurt my, um… my butt."

Without a word Tamaki picked me up, and he started walking.

Though he startled me, I felt perfectly safe. The way he held me was so gentle, like he was holding a porcelain doll. In a sense, that's what I was. You could play with me, but you had to be careful. If you used too much force, I would crack, break, or shatter.

As we walked I looked up at Tamaki's face, and once again I noticed how attractive he was. I couldn't read his expression, but at the moment I was just glad someone was there with me. I buried my head in his shoulder, and feeling just a bit safer, I silently continued to cry.

He set me down gently on one of the couches, and I readjusted myself slightly. He offered me his handkerchief and I thanked him, taking it and wiping my eyes.

"Tamaki- I'm sorry, I mean Suoh, could you tell me what happened between you and Keith?" I asked.

He sat down on the end of the couch and started talking.

"Last year, there was a girl named Shinozaki. Keith was friendly with her, but it was obvious that he liked the girl. One day, he finally asked her out. She rejected him, and he blames me because she requests me during Host Club hours. He's held a grudge ever since."

"Shinozaki was his best friend. He'd known her since elementary school." I said. "I know he's sensitive and hotheaded, but I didn't know he really cared about Shinozaki that much." I gripped the handkerchief tightly and choked, "Dammit Keith…!"

"Josephine…?"

I put my face in my hands and felt the tears coming. "Keith is right… I'm nothing but a burden to anyone, and I can't do anything by myself… I only worry everyone, especially Mrs. Fei…" I took a second to sob, and I felt my heart thump. It was burning, and so were my lungs. My legs were completely numb, but at the same time they hurt. My head was pounding, and all I could feel was the pain of my body and the hot tears sliding down my cheeks.

"Maybe it would have been better for everyone if I had never been born…"

"Don't you dare say that!" Suoh exclaimed.

My head jerked up to look at him, and he looked genuinely angry.

"Don't you ever say you shouldn't have been born!"

"But Suoh-"

"You were born for a reason, and just because your brother yelled at you is no reason to think you're not worth something!"

Just then my phone rang, and I saw it was my mother calling. I answered it and tearfully said, "Mom?"

"What the hell did you do!?" She screamed.

I flinched. Mom never yelled at anyone before, and she despised curse words.

"Mom?"

"You disgraceful child! Do you realize what you did!?"

"Mom, I don't-"

"Don't call me 'Mom'! Keith almost died thanks to you! Why the hell did you make him leave alone!?"

"What!?" I said, shocked. What happened to him? Did he get hit by a car or something, or did he have a run-in with the wrong person on the way home?

"I don't want you in my sight ever again! Don't come home!"

The line went dead.

I lowered the phone slowly, still trying to comprehend what just happened. Mom just called me, crying and angry. She told me Keith almost died, and I'm assuming it was due to an accident. But, she's blaming me, disowning me, and kicking me out of the house?

So my current situation is, my brother, who wishes I had never been born, got in an accident that was somehow my fault, even though he's the one who left, and my mother wants nothing to do with me because of it.

How can this be real? My mother, my loving mother, hates me now? My brother, my overly protective older brother, wishes I had never been born? Do my sisters dislike me too? Does my little brother, my sweet, innocent little brother, just barely tolerate the sight of me? What about Dad? Does he go overseas all the time to avoid me? Does he only do those video chats to make me think he likes me in the slightest?

My tears had ceased. My sobs had vanished. The pain? There was so much it didn't even bother me.

I swung my legs over and placed them on the floor, and Tamaki got even angrier at me. At least, I assumed he was angry.

"What are you doing!? You're hurt!" He exclaimed.

"It's fine. If you'll excuse me…"

I walked towards the door, but Haruhi caught my arm.

"Josephine! You're not in any condition to go anywhere!"

"I told you, its fine. Now please, if you'll excuse me…"

I pulled out of his grip and kept walking, but suddenly I was trapped in someone's arms. "You're not going anywhere like this."

"Suoh, please let me go."

"I'm not letting you leave."

"Please let me go."

Haruhi stood before me and said, "If you try to go home like this, you're not going to make it!"

"It's fine. I don't have a home to go to."

"What?"

"My mom just told me not to come home. She disowned me, and never wants to see me again."

"What are you talking about?"

"Keith got in an accident and almost died. It's my fault because I made him mad and let him leave by himself. At least, I think that's what she means."

"Where are you trying to go?" Tamaki asked.

"…I don't know."

"Stay here. We can help you."

I bit my lip.

Just then I felt something grab my hand, and I looked down to see Honey.

"We'll help you." He said.

"...Okay."

It was a long time before I spoke. We all just kind of sat in silence, and no one really knew what to do or say. Tamaki let me hold onto his hand, and I gripped it tightly.

"...I saw this coming." I said finally.

Everyone's attention turned to me.

"Everyone had been acting strangely for some time. I'm sure something happened that I didn't know about, and they're just taking their frustrations out on me."

"But why would they all lash out so suddenly?" Haruhi asked.

"I'm sure it was a coincidence. But, I don't doubt they mean what they said."

"Josephine-" Tamaki started.

"No, it's fine. I do understand their frustrations with me. That's why I'm trying so hard to get stronger. Anyway, I do still think they love me, but it would be better if I didn't go home tonight."

"But where can you go?"

"I don't know. I'm sure if I look hard enough I could find an inn or something around. I have an ATM card with me, so if I should have enough money." I said.

"What about tomorrow? What are you going to do?" Tamaki asked, pressing me for answers.

"I don't know. But right now, I'm more worried about how I haven't taken my medicine."

"What!?"

"I should be okay for awhile, but I might start acting strangely in a few hours."

"Are you sure you're going to be okay without it?" Haruhi asked.

"Yes, but if I say something strange, please disregard it."

They all looked at me strangely.

"For now, I think you should open the Host Club."

They all flinched.

They did open the Host Club, half an hour late, but still opened it regardless. I sat with Fujioka most of the time, but when I felt I had rested long enough I would get up and sit with someone else.

"Josephine, may I speak with you for a minute?" Kyoya asked, beckoning me over.

I sat down with him, and he was scribbling something down in his notebook.

"Can I ask what you're actually thinking?"

I sighed. "Without my medicine, my sanity is going to slip away."

He seemed confused.

"I wasn't actually born fragile. Someone made me this way."

His eyes were wide, and his pen had ceased scratching the paper.

"When I was younger, someone tried to rob my family. It was scary..."

_*thump*_

_I woke up, and my eyes moved to my door. There was no noise after several seconds, so I dismissed it and tried to go back to sleep._

_Then, I heard a cranking sound. It was very soft, but I could definitely hear it._

_I slowly moved my covers off of me, and I reached for the dagger I kept under my bed. My feet inched towards the door, and when I listened I could hear someone fiddling with the safe in the room across from this one._

_Mommy and Daddy didn't like the idea of us having a dagger in our room, but they told us it was just in case someone ever tried to hurt us._

_Slowly, quietly, I opened my bedroom door. The one across from mine was open just barely, but I couldn't see if anyone was inside. I tiptoed across the hall, and I moved to look through the crack. __There was a man, a very young man, crouched over the safe my family kept several valuable items._

_The dagger in my hand gave me a sense of security. But, I didn't know what to do. Should I just stab the guy, or should I try to stop him first?_

_Just then I heard the safe unlock, and I saw him start to put all of the things in a bag._

_What should I do!?_

_Before I reached a decision he rushed out of the room, and I hid before he could notice me. He was going to jump out of the window he came from, but his gaze lingered on my baby brother's door._

_No..._

_He opened the door quietly, and once he disappeared through the door I ran silently to it._

_He looked at my baby brother, sleeping peacefully in his crib Daddy had built, and his eyes seemed to waver. He looked at the bag in his hands, and his eyes turned cold once again. He reached down for my brother, but I sprang into action._

_My dagger sunk into his shoulder blade and he screamed, waking up my brother and causing him to cry._

_"Don't you touch my brother!" I yelled._

_The man picked me up and threw me against my brother's wardrobe. Its corner hit my spinal cord and I screamed, falling to the floor in a heap. __He grabbed my brother from his crib, but I wasn't willing to let him get away._

_"Let go of my brother!" I yelled, latching onto his leg._

_He kicked me off of him, and he pulled the dagger out of his back. He lunged at me, but I rolled quick enough to get away from it. In the process he dropped my brother, and I quickly grabbed him. I tried to run, but the man caught me and sank the dagger into my back._

_I fell, but I made sure there was no way the man could get my brother. I held him tightly in my arms, and I heard yelling and footsteps down the hall._

_The man scowled and ran out of the room, taking the bag with him._

_God, my back hurt. Where are Mommy and Daddy? Where are Sister and Sis? Where are Joshua and Keith? Are they okay? Is Bryce okay? He's still crying, right?_

_Oh, I can't hear anything. I can't see anything either. Wait a second, can I even feel anything? I don't know... but... I think I'll just go to sleep..._

"My Mom and Dad found me holding my crying brother, lying in a pool of my own blood. The man was caught and arrested, but after that I was never right again."

"Why do you say you were born fragile?" Kyoya asked.

"It's just easier that way." I replied, looking at the ground.


	4. Chapter 4

Just then I heard the large doors close and flinched.

"What a day…" The twins muttered, sitting down in a pair of chairs.

"I know. It's been crazy." Tamaki replied.

I looked at the clock and saw that it was nearly five. My head should start spinning soon.

"Josephine, should we look up a hotel for you?" Tamaki asked, walking over to me. He knelt down and put a hand on my shoulder, peering at my face.

"Yeah, that'd help me a lot. Thank you." I said, smiling gently at him.

"Kyoya, look up a hotel and book a room. Once you do, call a car for her."

"Oh, he doesn't have to do all that. If you can just find an open room that'd be great."

Tamaki placed both of his hands on my shoulders, turning me to face him. "You've been through enough today. Just let us help you."

Just then my phone started ringing again. I answered it and heard Madilyn on the line.

"Josephine! Oh thank god you answered! Where are you? Are you alright?" She said frantically.

"…I'm fine."

"Where are you? I'll send a car to come pick you up."

"No."

"What?"

"I'm not going home tonight."

"Josephine listen to yourself! You have to take your medicine!"

My head hurts…

"Mom doesn't want me home."

"What are you talking about? Mom is the most worried about you! Just come home."

"Mom doesn't want me. I'm not going home tonight."

There was shuffling on the other line, and suddenly Keith's loud voice made my head pound.

"Josephine, look, I'm sorry for what I did! What happened was my fault, and Mom didn't mean a word she said. I shouldn't have left you by yourself. We're sorry."

God, my head hurts! I think I'm slipping.

"I'm not going home."

"Josephine!"

"If I go he'll come back."

"Josephine, listen to me!"

"I need to keep him safe. I'm not going back."

"Josephine!"

"I'll protect him."

Then I hung up.

Just as I was about to put the phone back in my pocket, it started ringing again. It was my mother.

I turned it off.

"Shouldn't you have at least heard what she had to say?" Haruhi said, looking over my shoulder.

I didn't hear him.

I moved to stand up, but a sudden pain in my legs forced me to stay down.

"Damn, he got me when I wasn't looking." I snarled. I looked around the room, void of presences, and tried to find him. My legs were warm, and I could feel the blood dripping down my calves. I couldn't pinpoint the location of the wound, but I knew it was there.

Suddenly I felt a presence, and expecting it to be him, I ignored the pain in my legs and faced it. Instead of finding him, I saw a small figure in a pool of blood. It laid facedown, and I couldn't tell how long it had been there. I move it onto its side, and as soon as its hollow eyes looked back at me I screamed.

There laid my brother, my dear little brother I had protected years ago. How had he come without me noticing? Why didn't I hear my brother scream?

Just then something touched my shoulder, and I came face to face with him.

It surprised me. He was much more normal than I remembered. He had brown hair, a bit short for my tastes, and steely grey eyes. He seemed young, around twenty.

"What did you do…?" I muttered, shocked.

His eyes weren't cold. They were the complete opposite. He looked at me with warmth. He looked at me with concern. He looked like he cared.

"How dare you…"

Wasn't he after me now? I was the one who caused his plan to fail. I was the one who hurt him. Why was he still after my innocent little brother? Why did he kill him?

"I'll… I'll kill you!" I screamed, launching myself at him. One of my hands held his neck tightly, and I felt the sweet, hate filled sensation of my fingernails clawing into his flesh. The other reached for the dagger I kept strapped to my ankle.

As soon as the dagger was raised above my head, something grabbed me and yanked me off of him. It held both of my arms tightly, and as I struggled the dagger clanked on the floor. He looked at me with hurt and confusion, and his hand gently held his neck.

"You killed him! You bastard, why didn't you take me instead!?"

When did I start crying? Hell, he probably thinks I'm pathetic. Surely, he'll kill me and give my brother his life back. That's how it works.

He just stood there, sitting on the floor and looking at me.

"What the hell are you waiting for!? Kill me already! Give him my life!"

He stood up and talked to someone who wasn't there.

"Don't mock me! There's nobody here! Quit making me think I'm insane!"

He looked at me with surprise.

"Damn it, just kill me already! I'm sick of you and your damn games!"

He nodded to the person who wasn't there and looked at me. "I'm not playing games."

I furiously tried to attack him, but whatever had grabbed me held me tightly. "Don't lie to me! You do this to me every time I see you!"

"Have you seen me before?"

"Don't play with me!"

"If you cooperate, I'll let you go."

I glared at him for a second, but my willpower broke and I lost all of the strength in my body. "…Fine."

"Have you seen me before?"

"You tried to take my brother years ago and almost killed me. You were arrested, but I only see you here."

"Where is here?"

"My house. Were in my brother's room right now."

"Is he here?"

"No. You killed him."

"Did I?"

"I don't know how you did. You got me immobile before I even knew you were here. My brother was dead when I noticed him."

"Is there anyone here?"

"No. Just you, me, and the corpse."

"Why do you want me to kill you?"

"A life for a life. If you kill me, my life is forced to go to him. That's how it works."

"If that's how it works, where did his life go?"

"It doesn't have anywhere to go, so it's wandering."

"Why doesn't it go back to him?"

I looked at him like he was stupid. "You killed him. His life is forever separated from him. It will wander until it finds another empty body to fill."

"So if I kill you, his life will go to you?"

"Yeah."

He was about to talk, but I interrupted him.

"But you won't do it."

"Why not?"

"You like to see me suffer."

"Why do you think that?"

"When you kill my brother and I try to fight you, you always tell me what's happening isn't real. You tell me that my brother is standing right next to you when no one's there. Sometimes, you even say you are him."

He was quiet.

"The first time I met you, when I was five, after you stabbed me you didn't run. You didn't kill me either. You watched me suffer. You only ran away because you heard people coming. You're a sadist, and you love seeing me suffer."

He walked towards me and looked me in the eye. I looked back, and his expression pissed me off. He looked like he was about to cry, even though all of this was his fault. Everything that's happened to me is because of him.

"You made me frail. There's no way you did that on accident."

He looked at me that way again, and the anger made me attempt to resist whatever was holding me.

"Don't look at me like that! You did this to me you bastard! You're the one who made me insane!"

As soon as the word escaped my lips, a giant force slammed down on me and made my head spin. I struggled to regain myself, and right when my sight returned to me, I felt sick to my stomach.

Seven of him stared back at me, and one of them held my arms with a grip I could never hope to escape. They were all standing behind the him that was talking to me, and they all looked at me with either concern or worry.

"No… There's no way…"

God, my head! My ears were pounding, and a throbbing sensation inside my skull made me want to pass out. My legs… I didn't even know if they were there anymore. Was I standing, or was he holding me up? I had no idea, and I don't think I cared much either. Wait a second, am I laughing? It's a dark giggle, caught between insanity and evil. It's scary.

"So, that's how you did it. Are there even more of you?"

"What do you mean? You said there's no one else here but us."

"That's true, but there are seven of you."

They all looked at me.

"I'll kill you all." I muttered under my breath.

The instant after I uttered the words, I knew they'd all be trying to hear what I said. His grip loosened for a slight second, and I took action. I jumped out of his grip, launching myself towards the him before me. I pulled my dagger off the ground, launched myself towards him, and knocked him to the ground all in a split second. With the dagger above my head, him helplessly below me, and a stinging pain everywhere, I was ready to kill.

Tamaki POV:

I had expected to die. I was ready to feel that dagger pierce me somewhere, but when I felt something wet on my cheek I opened my eyes.

Josephine was above me, the dagger still raised above her head, and tears filled her eyes. They were no longer a dull and lifeless, but once again that beautiful emerald color.

"Suoh…?"

I smiled.

The dagger fell on the floor beside us and she buried her face in her hands. Her shoulders shook, and she was choking back sobs.

"I'm sorry… I'm so, so sorry…!"

I sat up and she started to sob, completely unable to hold them back.

I couldn't understand her. When I first saw her, she reminded me so much of my mother. She was like a copy of her, but with beautiful green eyes. I'm sure that's why I wanted to get close to her. But now, even though she's nothing like I'd imagined, I want to be even closer to her. I want to protect her and help her with whatever is hurting her. That's not strange, is it?

Right now, she's hurting. She's distressed and upset, so I'll do what I can to help her.

So, I held her.

Josephine told us everything. She told us about 'him', what he did, her brother, and the insanity she's been fighting since she's seen him. She told us about how when she was younger, she thought by fighting him when the insanity flashes happened, he wouldn't come back for her brother, and when she's fully insane her body will function normally despite her frailness.

"I'm scared of it. Every time it happens it gets worse, and I'm afraid one day even medicine won't help me."

She wouldn't look at me. Every time I tried to lift her head up, she retreated and ducked down farther. But, after countless tries, I finally got her to lift her head. She looked at my face for a second, and her hand gently traced my neck.

"I'm sorry…"

"You didn't mean to do it. It's fine." I replied, putting my hand over hers.

"No, you're wrong. I did mean it." She looked up at my eyes and said, "Promise me you won't let me hurt you or anyone else again."

"Josephine-"

"Promise me!"

I smiled. "I promise."

Her shoulders relaxed and she pulled away from me. She reached for her cellphone and turned it on, and as soon as the screen lit up countless missed calls and texts flashed. I thought she was going to respond and let her family know she was okay, but instead she turned her phone off again.

"I'm not okay yet. I don't know if I'll slip again, and I can't risk hurting someone else. I'll just lock myself in a room until morning. Then I'll tell them where I am."

"Why won't you go home?" Honey asked, plopping himself beside her.

"Because they'll hurt me." She replied.

"What do you mean?" Haruhi asked, sitting on her other side.

"As soon as I go back, they'll stick me with needles and tons of medicines. I hate being like that. The whole time they're restraining me, I feel…"

She seemed like she forgot what she was saying, so I spoke up.

"Feel what?"

She didn't respond, and I'm sure we all assumed she was going to have an episode again. Honey and Mori got ready to restrain her, and everyone else got ready to jump back.

"Dead."

"…What?"

"They restrain me, hurt me, numb my senses and get me to a mellow stage were my subconscious is partially blocked. It feels like I'm a zombie, but when I'm like that, I don't realize it. I act normal."

She leaned her back against the couch and looked at the ceiling, letting out a heavy sigh. "Tomorrow, after they do that, I won't remember this."

"What do you mean won't remember?" The twins asked.

"Just like I say. I won't remember fighting with Keith, going insane, hurting Suoh, talking to you all… I'll just assume I went home and fell asleep. Mom will act normal and tell me Keith was out and got hit by a car. They'll go through my phone and delete all the messages from today. They'll continue to ignore this part of me."

She closed her eyes and let out another sigh. "It comes back in bits and pieces. The longer I don't take my medicine, the more I remember. Like now, I'm remembering that I always feel safe when I'm insane. I'm afraid when I'm not, that I will be, but when it happens everything feels right. When I'm medicated I'm afraid of not taking my medicine."

"Are you scared right now?" Honey asked.

"Yeah. I'm afraid I'm going to hurt somebody. So, tomorrow, I'll let them give me the medicine."

"But then, won't you just start the cycle all over again?" Haruhi said.

Josephine smiled. "I've never been more than three hours late with my medicine. Right now, I'm smart enough to write everything down. That way, I'll have a chance of remembering when I'm medicated. Also, when I'm medicated and read it, I assume I'll tell you all about it. I need you guys to repeat to me what I've been saying. Tell me everything I wrote is true."

Just then the clock tower chimed, signaling that it was six.

"I broke my record." She said, smiling.

"According to this, there aren't any available hotel rooms around." Kyoya said, closing his laptop.

"What? Is there something going on today?" She asked.

"No, but tomorrow is the Festival of the Ages." He replied.

"Damn… I guess I need to pay more attention to the dates." She replied. "Well, shit. I guess I'll just go home then."

"No!"

Everyone turned to look at me.

"I don't like the idea of this cycle. If staying away from home for a night will help, you can stay with me."

She had a strange look on her face. She seemed confused, relieved, and thankful all at the same time. "Thank you, but… is it okay? Aren't your parents going to say something?"

My expression wavered for a second, but I quickly covered it up. "It's fine. Besides, I'm not leaving you by yourself. Not like this."

She smiled. "Your girlfriend will get jealous if she heard you say that."

"What!?" Everyone, including me, exclaimed.

Her laughter sounded and she said, "Sorry. I needed to laugh at something."

I smiled and laughed too. "We should start heading to my house. It's getting late, and you've had a long day."


	5. Chapter 5

"I'm sorry, Suoh…" Josephine said for the thousandth time that day.

She wasn't able to walk at all. She had worked her legs so hard, and during her episode she worked them past their limit. So I had to carry her again.

I smiled, but she couldn't see. She had her head against my shoulder, and refused to look up at me.

"Instead of saying 'I'm sorry', try saying 'thank you'." I replied.

"…Thank you, Suoh. For everything. It means a lot to me." She said.

I laughed a bit. "You're always so formal. When I first met you, you called me 'Sir'. And you call everyone 'Miss' or 'Mister'."

"It's a habit my medicated side can't kick. They raised her that way."

She tightened her grip around me and said, "Sometimes I feel like she's fake. She's a mask to cover me up."

We reached my front door and I said, "Can you knock on the door since my arms are full?"

Her arm reached out and knocked on the door, and after a couple of seconds it opened. The maid who opened the door was about to greet me, but once she saw that I was carrying someone she called for the others.

"Say, Suoh…?" Josephine said softly.

"What is it?" I asked.

"Who do you like better?"

"What? Who are you talking about?"

"Do you like Josephine? Or do you like me?"

I pursed my lips. That was a difficult question, especially since I didn't think of her as two different people. Sure she acted different, but she was still Josephine.

"I like both. No matter what you do, you're you, and I like you."

Finally, she looked up at me. "If you told me you liked me better, I wouldn't have taken my medicine."

"I can't tell you what to do. I've never had an experience similar to this."

She smiled. "Wear a scarf tomorrow. Cover up the scratches I gave you."

"Okay. Why?"

"I don't want you to have to make excuses, and it'd be troublesome to see you less than perfect."

I couldn't tell if she was being sarcastic or not, but I'd mind her request. I'm sure I could find a scarf to wear in my closet somewhere.

Two maids took Josephine to her room and I instructed them to take care of her. I said that she collapsed at school and her parents were away. They believed me.

After making absolute certain she was taken care of, I went to my room.

Josephine POV:

I sat in my brother's room for a long time. He never showed up, and my brother never did either. The idea comforted me, but I still felt a bit worried. What if he had been kidnapped, and I was just sitting here while he got further and further away?

Just then the door opened and my brother walked in.

"Sissy? Why are you in my room?" He asked.

"I need to protect you." I replied.

"Why?"

"He might come again, so I'll protect you."

"But won't you get hurt?"

I smiled. "Yeah."

"No! I don't want you to get hurt!"

"If I don't get hurt, you will."

"I don't care! If he hurts you, it'll be bad! You're not strong!"

"Do you think you're strong?"

"I'm stronger than you are." He said, sitting with me.

"Aah, the strong protect the weak. Is that what you think?"

"If the weak can't protect themselves, the strong should protect them. Right?"

"I don't see anything wrong with that, but when the strong are weak, can it be our turn to protect them?"

"What? I don't get it."

I looked up at the ceiling and said, "The strong are strong because they can protect themselves and others. But. When the strong are weak, can't the weak protect them?"

"I don't know."

I looked at him, then away. "I guess you wouldn't. But who does?"

"Sissy?"

I looked back at him, and he had a big smile on his face.

"I love you."

I smiled. "I thought I have cooties."

"You do! But I love your cooties too."

I giggled at him. "You're so silly."

Suddenly, his expression turned dark. "I hate Josephine."

I looked at him in surprise.

"I know that she's not you. I don't like her at all."

I smiled. "I hate her too. But, you'll see her tomorrow."

"If I tell her I like Jo better, will you smile at me?"

I smiled wider. "Yeah."

When I blinked he disappeared, and I let out a deep sigh. "I just hope Josephine is as weak as she thinks she is."

I blinked again, and I was back at Suoh's place.

I was sitting on the floor, surrounded by pitch black. The draperies were drawn, blocking out the moonlight, and all the light from the hall had been turned off.

Another deep sigh escaped my lips, and I felt a lot of tension in my body. My legs felt better, but I doubted moving around a lot would help… me…?

I could move just fine. There was no pain, no burning… I felt normal. I felt… strong.

I stood up, and after a few seconds I walked over to the light switch. I flicked it on, and as the room filled with light I took the time to survey it. There was a large bed, one closet, a dresser, a nightstand, and several decorations such as plants and paintings in the room.

I took a pen and lined paper from my backpack, and I wrote.

As time passed and words flowed onto pages and pages, I remembered more. I felt more. I felt alive again. The pages became filled with questions, only to be answered in the next few sentences. But, one question came up more than once.

Am I really frail?

More questions spawned from that. If I was actually frail, how was I able to use my legs like I did? How was I able to attack Suoh? How in the hell did I break Mori's iron grip?

Papers were everywhere. Scattered across the floor and covering the tops of the dresser and nightstand. Some found their way under the bed. Others managed to reach the closet. A couple even came dangerously close to sliding under the bedroom door.

Was I even insane, or was it just something the medication made me believe? Are these hallucinations trying to tell me something, or am I going somewhere I shouldn't? Should I go back to being Josephine, or should I stay as I am? Will I hallucinate in class, or will I be able to control myself?

My theory- no, my hypothesis is- maybe my insanity isn't real. Maybe it's a memory that's trying to convert me back into my regular self. But, if I was correct, why would my family continue to medicate me? Why hadn't I had some sort of physical and mental evaluation after the visit? Or, maybe, this was a plot. Maybe they want me to believe I'm frail. They want me to believe I'm insane. But, what would their motive be? Control? Pity? Charity?

I don't know enough. I need answers if I ever want to know everything. I'm getting to the bottom of this, even if it kills me. So, I'm not taking any more medicine.

-

The sun was sure to come up soon. But then again, it could be the middle of the night. How long have I been hallucinating? How long have I been writing? Have I slept at all?

I yawned and started picking up the papers, putting them in order. My hand was cramping from writing too much, but I didn't mind. Wait a second, am I just sitting in the dark? Well, I might as well leave the light off. If someone passes by, they'll think I'm asleep.

Just then I heard a slight knocking on the door.

"Josephine? Are you awake?"

Oh, it's Tamaki. What is he doing up? Isn't it late?

"I'm awake." I replied.

"Can I come in?"

I slid the papers under the bed and said, "Yeah."

The door opened, and I saw Tamaki' dark figure. He closed the door behind him and asked, "Where are you?"

"On the floor." I replied.

"What? Were you just sitting in the dark?"

"Yeah."

He sat down in front of me and sighed. "Sorry for coming so late. I was worried about you."

"What time is it?"

"About 3 a.m."

"Oh…"

"Have you just been sitting here?"

"No, I've been thinking. I decided not to take my medicine anymore."

"So what are you going to do tomorrow?"

"I'll pretend to take my medicine, and act like Josephine best I can. I just hope I don't snap in front of someone though."

"I've been meaning to ask… You think of your medicated side as someone else, right?"

"Yeah."

"And her name is Josephine, right?"

"Yeah."

"Well then, what's your name?"

"…My name?"

"Yeah. I want to call you by your name, not hers."

What the hell? What is he doing, asking this out of the blue?

"My name is Jo Anne. That was my name before Josephine was created."

I saw him smile through the blanket of darkness. "Jo Anne. That's a pretty name."

I sighed deeply. "Tamaki… I don't know what's going to happen. I don't think you should get any more involved with me."

"What do you mean?"

"If this all blows up in my face, I don't want you to get blown up with me. Starting tomorrow, I won't be visiting the Host Club anymore."

"Wait a minute!"

He quickly caught himself and kept his voice quiet.

"What does coming to the Host Club have to do with anything?"

I sighed again. "I just don't want any of you to get hurt. If I get found out, I don't want there to be any dirt on your hands."

"Did Haruhi ever tell you the Host Club's policy?"

"No… Why?" I asked. What's with the sudden change of subject?

"As a Host, it is our job to make any girl that steps foot into Music Room 3 happy."

I just looked at him. Where's he going with this?

"So, as a host, I can't abandon you until I know you're happy."

"Is that the only reason you're so intent on helping me?"

He pursed his lips.

"You're not telling me something. Ever since Josephine stepped foot in the Host Club, you were intrigued by her. When she's around, you pay more attention to her than anyone else."

The whole time I spoke I got closer to him, pressing him to tell me. Something was fishy.

"She catches your attention more than anyone else. Tell me why."

My face was right in front of his, and if I leaned in any closer I would touch him.

He was quiet for a long time, but I didn't move. Finally, after what seemed like hours, he spoke.

"You remind me of my mother."

"How?"

He bit his lip, but didn't take as long to speak. "You look like her, and she's frail just like Josephine. She was born that way."

"I don't get it."

He sighed. "My mother and Father met while he was on a business trip in France. At the time he was married to a woman my grandmother chose for political convenience, but after I was born he wanted to leave his wife and marry my mother. My grandmother was against it, and because my mother is frail she wasn't able to live in Japan. So, I grew up in France until I was fourteen. The, my mother's family business failed, and her health took a turn for the worse. My grandmother had been worrying about how my father didn't have an heir to the Suoh family, so she came up with a proposal. She said she would give my mother enough money to pay her debt and live comfortably if I came to Japan, but I could never see her again."

Finally, I backed away from him.

I get it. He's here now, so that means he came to Japan knowing he'd never see her again. Now, since he saw Josephine, maybe he's trying to use her as a substitute for his mom. Or, maybe, he'll try to protect her. He'll protect her like he couldn't protect his mother.

Maybe… Maybe he made the Host Club to try and make up for making his mother unhappy.

"I won't ask for help, but if you want to try and help me I won't stop you. Just be prepared for everything to backfire."

He smiled.

"I don't know what's going to happen. But, if I do end up being stuck as Josephine, I want you guys to pretend nothing happened."

"What? Then does that mean you want us to forget about what you said earlier?"

"No. Never forget that. I mean, if there's no chance that I'll ever show up again, I want you to pretend that Jo Anne doesn't exist."

"Are you saying there's a way that you can be permanently covered up?"

I sighed. "There may be a way to make me disappear completely."

"What!?"

"I think that if they convince Josephine that I'm a threat to her, she'll try everything to keep me inside. Do you remember how frantic she was when she was about to leave? She tried to make the insanity as bad as she could. She made me hurt you, because she's afraid of me. She's afraid of disappearing."

"…Is there even a threat to anyone when you're Jo Anne?"

"I can't tell you for sure. But, my hypothesis is that if I don't take my medicine long enough, I'll be able to explore my flashes of insanity and possibly eliminate them, or at least come to terms with them."

"Are you scared?"

"…I don't know. I don't know anything right now."

Just then something touched my hand, and I saw that Tamaki was holding it tightly.

"It's okay to be scared."

I sighed. "I'm not scared of fighting Josephine. I'm not scared of myself. I'm just afraid of the consequences of trying to take my mind back."

Tamaki smiled. "No matter what, the Host Club will do whatever it can to help you."

I looked at him, and a pang of guilt struck me. My free hand touched the scratches on his neck and I asked, "Are you afraid of me hurting you again?"

He held my other hand and said, "I'm not worried. Besides, I'm going to start wearing a scarf now."

"I don't know how I'm going to convince my brothers and sisters that I somehow found some medicine and returned to Josephine. I just need to pull off the act long enough to find out why I'm like this in the first place. My parents are an obstacle too…" I sighed again. "What I'm doing now can change my life forever. I don't have time to hesitate, and I damn well don't have time to act like I don't know what I'm doing. If I slip up, I'm going right back to square one."

I looked straight into Tamaki's eyes and said, "I don't know how deep this goes. If this gets overwhelming, I'm willing to go on alone. I won't ask you to help me, but if you're willing to get your hands dirty, I'm willing to let you."

Tamaki laughed a bit. "I've already told you, I'll do whatever it takes to help you, and I'm sure everyone else in the Host Club will be too."

Finally, I relaxed. "Thank you. It means a lot to me."

Tamaki left my room shortly after, and I finally was relaxed enough to go to sleep.


	6. Chapter 6

That morning I left with Suoh. I hadn't slept much after waking up at 5 in the morning. Hell, I was so worried about how I'd handle this morning that I'd wasted my time by worrying about it! Now I have to prepare myself in the car ride before we get to the gates!

Okay, I have some meds in my backpack. I can say I took some of them yesterday, and as long as my act is convincing I think my siblings will believe me. Now, if I go to the Host Club I'll need to be careful. I'm sure my brothers and sisters will be on high guard today. They won't just let me go.

Shit! I have to act like yesterday didn't happen! How am I going to explain being with Suoh? Well, I could say that I woke up in a hotel and we met at the gate. Yeah, that'll be convincing.

...

Hmm? What happened?

As I came to my senses and thoughts returned to me, I felt the movement of the car and something under my head.

"Hmm? Are you waking up?" Tamaki asked.

"What...? Did I fall asleep on your shoulder? I'm sorry..." I said, rubbing my eyes. I was still half asleep.

"We won't be at school for another twenty minutes. You can go back to sleep if you want."

I relaxed and dropped my hand to my lap. "I think I'll just stay like this. Is that okay?"

Tamaki laughed a little. "That's fine."

I leaned on his shoulder again and took a deep breath. My shoulders relaxed, my heartbeat slowed down, and my thoughts began to calm themselves. God, I've been stressing out so much since yesterday. I bet Josephine is freaking out. She knows exactly what's going on right now, and I can feel it. She wants to come back and eradicate me.

I took a deep breath again and closed my eyes.

I wonder what my siblings are doing now. My phone is still off, isn't it? I should check it before they delete all the messages.

As soon as I turned it on it started vibrating like crazy. I was thankful I had silenced it before, or else the comfortable silence of the car would have been obliterated.

I put the phone to my ear and listened to the voicemails, but none of them were particularly intriguing. It was the same with the text messages. Everyone just told me to come home in various ways.

I took another deep breath.

"It's okay to be scared."

I smiled. "You said that last night."

"Did I?"

"Yeah. Can I tell you something?" I asked, looking up at him.

"Of course."

"I'm scared."

-

I gripped Tamaki's arm tightly as we headed into the school gates. I kept my gaze glued to the ground, and I felt myself shake as we got closer and closer. I was running out of time. There's no way I can do this. They're going to see right through me, and they'll shoot me up with meds again. Josephine will come back and I'll have to wait forever to try and escape again. I'm letting my only chance pass me by because I can't-

"You'll be fine."

I flinched.

"I know you can do this."

"How did you know I was nervous...?" I asked.

"You're digging your fingernails into my arm."

I blushed and released his arm. "Sorry."

He laughed at me. "If you get nervous, just hold my arm a little tighter and I'll jump in."

I took another deep breath and looked up at Tamaki. "I like that scarf. Red looks good on you."

His cheeks tinted pink, but his surprised expression was quickly covered with a big smile.

Finally, we walked through the gates.

"Josephine!"

God, I just realized how much I hate that name. I looked up and saw Madilyn running towards me.

"Sis!" I exclaimed, smiling.

She stopped before us and said, "Suoh…"

The rest of my siblings, excluding Bryce and Keith, showed up behind her.

"Good morning, everyone." I said.

"Are you alright?" Joshua asked.

Oh my god, my heart is pounding! Am I doing this right? Doesn't Josephine have that annoyingly soft and high voice? "Yes, I'm perfectly fine. Why do you ask?"

"Did you take your medicine?" Grace asked.

Oh hell. What was the story again? I'm an idiot! There's no way they're going to believe me! "Yes, there was some in my backpack. But for some strange reason I woke up in a hotel this morning, and I can't remember why. Also, where is Keith?"

They looked a bit uncomfortable.

Shit! I said too much! I'm going to die!

"We'll tell you later, but right now, why are you with Suoh?" Madilyn asked, eying our arms.

I gripped Suoh's arm tightly as I struggled to keep my composure. I was sweating like crazy and I felt like I was going to pass out.

"I saw her this morning on my way to school. She looked distraught, so I helped her." He said.

"Thank you." Joshua said.

I looked up at him, surprised.

"I don't want to think of what could have happened if you didn't help her. Really, thank you."

I get it. They want to act like they don't think it's the Host Club's fault that I overtook Josephine, so they're putting on a friendly front. Bastards.

"It's no problem. I'm sure anyone else would have done the same." Suoh replied.

"Anyway, it's almost time for class. Thank you again for helping Josephine." Madilyn said.

"Oh, you're right. I'll see you later... Josephine." Tamaki said.

I held his arm even tighter, but looked up at him with a smile on my face. "Okay! I'll see you in the Host Club after school!"

I was forced to release his arm, and as he got farther and farther away I could only feel my anxieties growing.

"Josephine, what do you remember about yesterday?" Madilyn asked.

"Hmm... I remember being at the Host Club and talking to Keith, but I don't remember what I said. I think he was mad at Suoh again."

Shit! Too much! _Too much!_

"Do you know why you were at the hotel?" Grace asked.

"Umm... I don't even remember how I got there."

Best to play dumb. I can cover my ass that way.

"Let us tell you what happened."

Their story was what I'd expected. They told me Keith was walking around and got hit by a car. They told me I was overwhelmed and asked to be away from home for a bit to calm down. As expected they deleted the messages and voicemails from my phone and acted as if nothing happened at all.

I was pissed, so I ate lunch by myself in the gardens. God, do they think I'm stupid? Well, I guess Josephine is. She's too naive and sensitive. She's the kind of girl that gets on my nerves.

Suddenly my head started to pound, and the flower bushes around me started to fade.

Shit! If someone finds me, I might hurt them!

I left my lunch on the side of the fountain and ran as fast as I could into the rose maze until the insanity had taken over.

I was on my knees again, and the room was dark. Yeah, usually it was varying shades of gray, but it was a lot darker than usual. Again it was empty, but rain pounded against the window.

There was a teddy bear in the far corner of the room, thrown from the crib at the door. It lay face down, and I couldn't help but feel a bit of nostalgia. It had been my teddy bear before, and Keith's before that. Joshua's had been given to Madilyn, and Grace was given a new one. Mine had been favored by my younger brother, so it had been given to him.

There was a blood stain on it now. A big one staining its entire left leg, part of its torso, and a few drops on its face. Sometimes I thought I preferred it that way. It was like me. A bit stained, a little scary at first, and beaten up, but still the same lovable teddy bear.

Mom tried to hide it from me. She threw it away countless times, but finally I found a hiding place for it. Now when Josephine is gone I visit him. Bryce might like him too. When I get home today I'll show him.

Is there really no one here? He should at least be here. This is his domain after all. It's where he comes to torture me.

This is weird. Something definitely isn't right. I don't feel safe like I usually do. I'm anxious and uneasy. Can nothing go right today?

Maybe it's the rain. It's never rained here before. Usually it's completely silent. I can hear footsteps all the way down the hall and noises from the ground outside.

Yeah, the rain must be throwing me off. Because of how loud it is, someone could be just outside the door without me noticing. He could be just beyond the door.

Is that... footsteps? Is it Him? Hell, where's my dagger!? It's not strapped to my calf! Shit!

Just then the door opened, but no one was there. There was definitely a presence, but I couldn't see them.

The hell? I smell roses. And a hell of a lot of them. Mom doesn't like roses, so I'm damn sure there wouldn't be any in the house. I knew something wasn't right!

Whoever opened the door must have roses. Why would someone be in the house in the middle of the night to make a flower delivery, with roses no less? This had to be a trap. He must have set it up.

Wait, where did that person go? I can't feel their presence anymore, but I can still smell the roses. Were they really here for a flower delivery?

I walked over to the dresser, where the smell was the strongest, and reached out. I could feel the soft petals of a rose, and my hand traveled down to the stem. With a bit of force the flower pulled away from the bunch, and my other hand went to grab the long stem.

The thorns pierced my hand, and several had gone in deep enough to draw blood, but that wasn't much of a concern at the moment. The rose materialized, and it contrasted the dim gray room with its vibrant red petals. It was beautiful.

As I admired the rose, I felt something that scared me. A gust of wind had gone by, filling my nostrils with the scents of many other flowers. They were all around me, and the slight breeze told me I wasn't really inside.

As soon as the thought crossed my mind, the walls shattered around me. There were chairs on both sides of me, void of people. A deep red carpet stretched under my feet, and as my eyes followed it they landed upon a box.

It was surrounded by flowers. There was a canvas behind it, completely blank. There were ribbons on the flowers, also blank.

The room was gray, and my dress had gone from pale gray to pitch black. My hands were gloved now, but the thorns of the rose still pierced my skin.

I started walking towards the box, and the chairs beside me turned into stones. The flowers fell away from beside the box, and a large tent covered it. A hole appeared beneath it, and it was sustained only by two straps.

"Who died?" I asked.

No one answered.

I placed the rose on top of the casket, and several drops of blood dripped with it.

"It was your fault."

I turned.

He smiled.

"Is it?" I replied. Strangely, I wasn't scared. Right now, I wasn't afraid of Him. He was just another person.

"Of course it is. You didn't protect him."

"What...?"

"You don't get it? I thought the small casket would give it away. It's unfortunate that he was so young."

_Bryce._

"You killed my brother." I snarled, clenching my gloved fists tightly.

He chuckled. "No. You did."

I flinched. There's no way. I almost died trying to protect him. There's no way I'd do that and struggle with insanity for years just to throw it all away.

I looked down and saw my blood stained dress, and my dagger in my left hand.

No...

"Sissy?"

I quickly spun around and saw my little brother.

"What are you doing?"

"No... Bryce... Get away...!" I said, slowly walking towards him.

"Why?"

Why? Why aren't you scared!? Run away you idiot!

"Run away!" I yelled, strengthening grip on the dagger.

I was almost upon him, but this child had no signs of fear. He looked _happy_. What the hell is wrong with this child!?

I stood before him, dagger above my head, blood dripping down my fingers, and tears leaking down my eyes. My bloody hand grabbed his neck, and the dagger shook in my grip.

What am I doing!? Why can't I stop!? I don't want to do this! Stop it!

"Hey Sissy, guess what?" My brother asked, smiling up at me.

I looked down at him, and a single tear dripped onto his cheek.

"I love you."

My knees buckled and I fell onto the grass, sobbing as my mind raced. I couldn't comprehend what was reality or what wasn't, but I assumed I was in reality due to the vibrant colors surrounding me.

I didn't want to see them, so I squeezed my eyes shut and covered my mouth. Where was Tamaki when I needed him?

I almost killed my brother. With my own two hands, I was about to hack him into pieces. I would have had his blood on my hands, and it would have been my fault.

God, I feel sick. My stomach is doing flips, begging me to lose my lunch. Ugh, my hand hurts. I should wash it and wrap it up before the blood stains my dress.

After wrapping my hand I'd lost my appetite, so I threw about half of my lunch away. I felt bad about it. I was raised believing you should always eat everything on your plate. Well, Josephine was.

I sat on the side of the fountain and sighed, burying my face in my hands.

"Jo Anne?"

No way. Right now, only two people call me that name, and one of them isn't here.

I looked up and saw Suoh coming towards me. I stood up to greet him.

"Are you alright?" He asked.

Oh no. Here come the waterworks.

I reached out and out my head on his chest, gripping his jacket tightly.

"H-hey! What's wrong?" He exclaimed.

"I'm scared..." I replied, choking back sobs.

"Did it happen again?"

I nodded.

Tamaki held me and said, "It's okay. You're safe now."

If only that was true.


	7. Chapter 7

I had managed to slip under my sibling's radar after school, but I didn't go straight to the Host Club. I'm sure they'll check for me there.

I went to an abandoned storage room that the old drama club kept their props in. It was dusty and cold, but I wanted to be alone for a bit. I wanted to think.

I came faster than usual this time. Usually it takes five hours for me to overpower Josephine. I remember, I was able to show up just before three hours. Heh, maybe I've gotten stronger. Either that, or Josephine's gotten weaker.

How long have I been in Bryce's room? At least it's not raining anymore. It's a bit cold though, isn't it? I can see my breath!

"Sissy? Is that you?"

I turned. "Bryce? Are you okay?"

"Yeah. I'm okay. Are you?" He asked, sitting beside me.

"For right now, yeah. I don't know how long that'll last though." I replied.

"I'm happy Josephine isn't here. I was said when you said I'd see her today."

"I'm surprised you can tell the difference. No one else can."

"I can tell you apart from Madilyn and Grace too. I can't tell them apart though."

"Well, that doesn't help them much. I bet that if Josephine wasn't raised as frail, no one could tell her apart from the other two."

"I would, because you're special."

"Oh? How so?"

"You don't lie to me."

"I don't have a reason to lie to you."

"No, you don't get it. Josephine lies to me too."

"Does she?"

"Yeah. She says you don't exist."

"I don't blame her. She's deathly afraid of me."

"Really? Why?"

"Because I can make her disappear."

His eyes grew wide. "How?"

"If I never take my medicine, I assume she'll disappear eventually. The medicine brought her on in the first place."

Bryce grabbed my hand and looked at me with adorable determination. "I won't let them give you any more medicine."

I smiled. "Thanks. I'll try my best to avoid it."

He smiled widely and nodded.

Then he was gone.

The storage room came back, and I sighed. "That child..."

I checked to make sure the coast was clear, and headed to the Host Club.

"Jo Anne!" Tamaki exclaimed as soon as I walked in the door. "Are you alright? Did something happen?"

"No, I'm fine. I just had to wait awhile so my siblings wouldn't find me." I replied.

"Jo Anne?" The twins repeated.

"Oh, did you not tell them about Josephine?" I asked.

"No, I couldn't. We had customers."

"Oh. Well, now's a good as time as ever to tell them."

-

"So, in short, Josephine is my medicated subconscious, and I'm the unaltered, original version."

"And your name is Jo Anne?" Honey asked.

"Yeah. That was my name before Josephine showed up."

"I like your name!" He said, smiling.

"Thank you. I like it too. But, I have to ask that you refer to me as Josephine in front of my siblings."

Just then, the door opened.

"Josephine!"

Shitshitshitshit!

I froze up instantly, and my mind raced like a race car in last place.

"I thought we'd find you here. Come on, we should head home."

I stood and turned to face them, putting on a sad face. "Aww, please let me stay. I still have an hour until-"

"Mom's worried about you."

I sighed. Looks like I'll have less time to prepare than I thought. "Well then, I guess I'll see you all tomorrow."

"But, you can stay if you watch Bryce." Joshua said, pulling Bryce in front of him.

I smiled widely, and I was so happy that I bowed to them. "Thank you! I promise I'll be home in time!"

"See you then!"

And the doors closed.

Bryce walked over to me, and once our eyes met he smiled. "Hi Jo."

"Long time no see." I replied, crouching down to meet his eye level. "What are you doing here?"

"I talked to you yesterday, so I had to see if you were really here." He replied.

"Oh? Did you talk to me a few minutes ago too?"

He looked at the Host Club members, and I nodded.

"Yeah. It surprised me."

"It surprised me too. Most of the time he shows up."

"I saw him once. I talked to him for a long time."

"What did he say?"

"He said he was sorry."

"Did he?"

"Yeah. He told me he wanted to talk to you."

"He can't talk to me there?"

"No. When you show up there, he goes crazy too."

"Do you think I should visit him?"

"Yeah. He's really nice."

I thought for a moment. "If I can find out where he is, we can go visit him."

"Yeah! I want to see him in real life!"

"How do you feel about this, Suoh?" I asked.

"Hmm? You want my opinion?" He asked.

"Of course. Your opinion means a lot to me."

He blushed, and Bryce pulled me closer to him.

"Does that guy like you?" He whispered.

"I don't know." I replied. "I don't think so."

He wasn't satisfied with that answer.

"You, what's your name?" He asked, pointing at Tamaki.

"Me? I'm Tamaki Suoh, Host Clu-"

"Do you like Jo?" He asked.

I laughed, and Tamaki started freaking out.

"Bryce, that's a bit rude."

"But Sissy-"

"No buts. Suoh, stop freaking out and tell me what you think."

"Well, I personally don't like the idea, but I think if you really want to see him you should go."

Bryce grabbed Tamaki's sleeve and pulled him down, meeting him at eye level.

"I don't like you very much. You can't like my sister."

"What!?" Tamaki exclaimed.

"You didn't even notice she hurt her hand. You'd be a bad boyfriend."

I quickly hid my wrapped hand and said, "Bryce! That's enough. There's more important things besides Suoh's romantic interests. We have to figure out how I can avoid taking my medicine."

"Can't you throw them away?" Bryce asked.

"Yeah, but I can't risk having someone find them. I think the best thing would be to crush them up and flush them."

"Yeah! Then no one could find them!"

Just then my phone started ringing.

"Hello?"

"Hi, Josephine."

My back went rigid. "Father? Why are you calling?"

"I heard about what happened yesterday. Are you okay now? Did you take your medicine?"

"Yes, Father. I had some in my backpack."

"Oh, good. Make sure you put some more emergency tablets in your bag when you get home. I wouldn't want you to get hurt."

"Yes, Father."

"Are you at home?"

"No, I'm with some friends. I'll be home soon, though."

"Be careful not to lose track of time. Your mother is worried about you."

"Yes, Father."

"Oh, I have to go. I'll see you when I get home next week."

"Goodbye, Father."

"Why did Daddy call you? I thought he didn't like us very much." Bryce said, holding the skirt of my dress.

I gripped my phone tightly and glared at the screen. "That bastard..."

"Hmm? What's wrong Sissy?"

"Kyoya, do me a favor and search up my father. Tell me who he has partnerships with."

"Hmm? Why?" Kyoya asked.

"The way my dad was speaking... He was more concerned about the medicine than about me. Josephine wouldn't have noticed it, but I'm too cautious to let this slide. My dad might have something to do with Josephine."

"But Daddy doesn't know anything about medicine."

"Yeah, but he knows about money."

"It seems that he's had a long-standing partnership with the American government."

"Does it say anything about it?"

"He's been held accountable for a long term project. The project is classified, but it seems to be on a rather large scale."

"Christ. I need to research this first hand. Bryce, I'm breaking into dad's study tonight. If someone passes your room, I need you to get them away from the door."

"Okay!"

"Are you sure that's a good idea? It sounds dangerous." Haruhi said.

"Fortunately, I have a week before Dad gets here. I need to research as much as I can until then. I don't have time to think if something is a good idea or not."

"Be careful. Josephine coming back is a very possible situation right now."

I looked at Tamaki. "I know." I smiled. "That's the fun part."

-

When I got home that day I managed to fake taking my pills, but I didn't crush them up right away. I wanted to have them examined.

It was later that day, after everyone had gone to sleep, that I decided to break into dad's study. I had a bobby pin and a screwdriver, my best friends.

After successfully unlocking the door, I locked it from the inside and began my search. If years of being bedridden taught me anything, it had taught me the maids and butlers schedules. Nobody should pass by this hallway until six, but to be safe I'd leave before everyone woke up.

I rummaged through his desk, skimming papers and notes but finding nothing interesting. But, I found a locked drawer. By the sound of it, there was a false bottom too.

I unlocked the drawer, but I was a bit skeptical about opening the bottom. There's no way dad wouldn't have some sort of alert system.

I inspected the drawer, and I saw that there was a hole in the bottom of the desk. I think it was unlocked by dad's necklace he always wore. What did it look like? It was kind of like a sword, but more cylindrical. I bet the ink container of a pen would work!

I unscrewed the top of a pen and inserted the ink container through the hole, and the false bottom came up with it. After a second it clicked, and I pulled the pen out.

Under the false bottom was a folder, and I took it out. It was a maroon folder with good lettering, saying _Case File 0027_.

As I leafed through the documents, I found out what I was taking was a drug patented by the US government. There were a total of 378 people taking it worldwide. Statistics showed that the more a person ingested the medication on a consistent schedule, the better the effects were. But, if the schedule was thrown off, the subject would regain intelligence at en extreme rate. The rates varied per person, but it seemed that the longer they had been taking it and the more often they did, the greater the extremity.

I've been taking it for a little over ten years, and according to this it had been patented only a few months before that.

75 of the test subjects have been taken off the medication, and currently live normal lives. They are now completely immune to it, and all attempts to re-medicate them have proven ineffective.

But, I couldn't figure out how long I had to wait.

I slid the folder back under the false bottom and closed the drawer. The door locked itself, so I just had to get back to my room without anyone noticing.

"Josephine? What are you doing up so early?"

Mrs. Fei.

"Oh, I'm sorry. I wanted a glass of water, but I didn't want to wake anyone up."

"Mistress, you should have come to me. The kitchen is locked overnight."

"Yes, I found out when I went down there. For now, I'll just go back to bed."

"I'll bring you a glass when I come to wake you up in the morning." Mrs. Fei said.

"Thank you."

Instead of going to my room, I went to Keith's. Joshua was asleep and wouldn't wake up until he smelled breakfast, and Keith had been given sleeping pills the night before.

It turns out he ended up with a fractured leg, a broken wrist, and a concussion. Mom had just overreacted due to the initial shock. Of course she's trying hard not to apologize to me every time I'm near her, but I'm trying not to act like I know what happened.

I had to pretend I wasn't at all mad at Keith, and I had to let some things still be done for me. It annoyed me more than anything, but it made me lazy.

Josephine was chubby because of it. I constantly felt lazy in this body. Her fake frailness made it inactive and delicate. I'm sure she put at least forty pounds on my abs.

When I'm trapped I don't have much else to do besides better myself. My persona was very fit, and had a very high tolerance for things like pain. As Josephine faded and I took more control, I could feel how much damage she had done. Besides being useless physically, her mental strength was atrocious. Sure it was due to the medicine, but she had absolutely no resolve. She was a yes-woman. Completely passive. She had no opinions of her own.

She was weak in every aspect.

Low self-esteem. No confidence. Insecure. Afraid of everything. She was basically just a body that sought approval from everyone else. Nothing about her was original. Everything she said, did, and thought was derived from everyone around her.

Thank god I never let her fully take over. If that ever happens, I don't know if I can fight all the negativity that'll manifest itself inside of her.

That paper said there are 377 more people who have taken the medicine, and that there are cases of people who have been off medication. Maybe if I research a bit more I can find those people... Talk to them...

Just then Keith started to shift, and since I didn't want to be questioned I retreated to Bryce's room.

I closed the door behind me quietly, not wanting to wake my sleeping brother. I wasn't afraid in this room, because I knew if something happened no one would find out. My brother already knew, and he'd definitely leave the room and keep people out.

He was sleeping soundly when I entered. My hand rubbed his head, brushing the stray hairs to one side. He didn't even flinch, and a small smile crept up on my face.

"Say, do you think it's going to be okay?" I asked.

He smiled.

I went to the corner of the room, sliding down and rubbing my arms. A large sigh escaped my lips, causing my shoulders to relax and nerves to calm. My back cracked, releasing some extra tension, and my head rested against the wall. As time passed, the room grew steadily cooler.

Some much needed thinking time, finally. Even if I'm insane, I'm sure I can think. Maybe if I can hold on to a bit of sanity I can talk to him.

Tomorrow… No, it's later today now. When I go to school in a few hours…

Bryce should wake up in about an hour. It should be about 5 by now, so I should probably go to my room…

For a long time, noting happened. My dad came home from his business trip and didn't say anything about his office. I got better at hiding my pills and had given some to Kyoya, which he sent off to be tested. My insanity became more and more apparent, and I often found myself teetering on the fine line between consciousness and insanity.

I hadn't made much progress in finding the other test subjects or exploring my insanity. It was almost as if I was stuck, but I found a way to make it seem like I was moving forward.

I started working out. Crunches, push-ups, running, lifting, healthy eating, reading, writing. Things to help my body and mind grow stronger. I needed all the strength I could get, even if it wouldn't help me. Just having it made me feel safer.

I worked out whenever I could. Before school, during school, after school, at home when no one was around. Strength was my new obsession, and I was going to be stronger than Josephine no matter what it took.

The progress was slow, but I could feel myself getting better. I wasn't tired all the time, and my thinking got sharper. I was more focused, and my time management excelled. I felt more alive than I had ever been.

And it was great.


	8. Chapter 8

It was Halloween night, and my class decided that a classic test of courage would be both nostalgic, cheap, and fun. Each of us would partner up with someone from another class that had the same idea, and whoever got the farthest without giving up won.

Mei Kasa ended up partnering up with one of her other friends, so I told her no hard feelings and that I'd just do it by myself. There was an odd number of students, anyway. It was a bit unfortunate that I didn't get very friendly with any of my classmates, but in the end I guess it was for the better. The less people that knew about my situation, the better.

"Maydahl, do you not have a partner?" The teacher asked.

"Oh, I don't have a partner. But it's okay Sensei, I'd be much happier doing it myself."

The teacher rubbed the back of his neck and said, "Well, the rules forbid students from going by themselves, so I have to put you with someone. You can just join a pair and have a group of three."

"Sensei! She can join us, we don't mind."

I looked over and there was a pair of boys. If my memory was correct they were best friends, by the names Ashita Ryuuji and Masuno Kida.

It was finally time for my group to start, so I set off with the boys and tried to keep myself polite.

"So Josephine, what kind of music do you like?" Masuno asked me.

"Hmm, if I had to choose, I'd say piano instrumentals are my favorite. Other music is nice sometimes, too."

"Do you play the piano?" Ashita asked.

"No, I play the ukulele. It's like a miniature guitar." I replied. "I learned one year when my family went to Hawaii over the summer."

"That's amazing! I've never met someone who could play that!" Ashita replied.

"Does your family travel a lot?" Masuno asked.

"My dad does, but we rarely take family trips. I think I've only been on three my entire life."

"Where did you go?"

"Well, I visited Great Britain and went to school there for one semester, spent one summer in America, and the one summer trip to Hawaii."

"Whoa, you went to school in England? Does that mean you speak fluent English?"

Geez, these lies are difficult. But it's almost the truth. I had to go to special hospitals sometimes, because the pill would endanger my life. Since it was an American patented medication they had the most research on it, and there was one specialist in Britain. The summer in Hawaii was an actual family vacation when I was about four. I took ukulele lessons and just never forgot.

"But wait a second, weren't you bedridden since you were five?"

"Oh yeah! Aren't you really frail?"

"Well... I actually had to stay in hospitals there because of how severe my condition was. There were doctors that saved my life multiple times. But, the Hawaii trip was a real vacation when I was little." I admitted. I guess my story was more popular than I thought."

"Wait a second, aren't you in with that Host Club second year Suoh? I heard that you two were really close."

"What? No, not at all. Suoh is just my friend. Besides, even if I did like him, Hosts aren't allowed to date."

Just then, a student dressed as an evil spirit jumped out of an open classroom door and scared the two boys senseless. They took off running down the hallway, leaving me behind, without a second thought.

So much for being my partners...

I wandered the hallways for a long time, not knowing where to go because they had the map of which hallways to go through. I didn't know the building very well either, since it was mainly for third year classes.

I had stopped wandering and sat on a windowsill, looking out at the courtyard and thinking of how much funner it would have been to spend Halloween in America. Filling a pillowcase with free candy and dressing up and anything you pleased.

The clock struck midnight, and that meant that the test of courage as officially over. If everything had gone smoothly the last group should have returned about ten minutes ago, and then Sensei would have given out the prizes for first, second and third place. Of course the prizes didn't amount to much more than crudely made trophies recycled from the art club's leftover materials, but it's the thought that counts.

I'm sure they noticed that there was a student missing from the group, and they're probably searching around for me. I doubted that this hallway was part of the route, but at the same time I didn't want to try searching for one.

Just then I noticed some motion at the end of the hallway, but I wasn't sure if it was just a shadow or not. With the severe possibility of insanity hitting me at any moment, I really didn't want to be alone.

I moved to the end of the hallway, but there was nothing there. Relief and anxiety washed over me at the same time, and I decided that it'd be better not to wait for someone to find me. If I wandered around I might find someone else.

It was really dark in the hallways. My eyes had adjusted to the dark long ago, but it was still difficult to see. The thick clouds outside blocked all the night sky's dim light, and the school lights had been turned off long ago. It was nearly pitch black.

I hadn't heard my name being called, so I assumed no one bothered to check the first building from the start. If I remember correctly the route took you through all of the buildings, and those two boys probably didn't remember where they lost me in their fit of panic. Idiots.

I took out my cellphone and used that as a light, but after a while my battery decided it would be a great time to die.

After wandering for about fifteen minutes I wound up outside, and I was faced with a part of the garden I had never seen before. I thought the garden was only the field and rosebush garden, but it turns out I was mistaken. There was an entire area with benches and flowerbeds, and in the distance I could see the top of a gazebo pointing out from the walls of bushes.

I want to go there...

Somehow, against my better judgment, I ended up walking towards the gazebo. I had heard the faint sounds of voices from where I was before, but if they were there now they'd be there later. Right now, that place was much more interesting than anything else.

It was just a plain old gazebo, but something about it was enchanting to me. It's almost like a small place where no one could find me, where I'm completely safe from them and myself. Somewhere I was truly alone.

I had settled myself under the table, curling myself into a little ball and resting my chin on my knees. It was a bit cold out, and I wished I had my scarf, but I instantly cursed myself. I was supposed to be getting stronger, and complaining would only hold me back.

Speaking of getting stronger, I had worked off a lot of the extra weight Josephine had given me. I was slimming down, and I felt so much better. It was like I was slowly freeing myself, bettering myself and growing to outmatch her. I also noticed that the healthier I was the longer my insanity flashes were able to be controlled, but recently they started happening more frequently. Nearly every time I was alone I'd go back to my brother's room. Sometimes he was there, sometimes he wasn't. Most of the time he'd show up halfway through, and be extremely cruel.

The rare times I didn't go insane, like now, I was just able to relax and think. It was a treat, and I always treasured the moments I had. I'm sure these times are what keep me sane.

Once my thoughts had calmed themselves and I calmed down, the pressing silence seemed to close in on me. Even the little voice in my head had gone silent. Then I realized... I was lonely.

Loneliness was no stranger, being trapped and alone for ten years, but it had never really affected me before. It was like a recurring background character that no one ever really notices, but makes its presence apparent. I couldn't tell you if I had just gotten used to loneliness fairly quickly or if I was too busy trying to break out to notice it.

I didn't like feeling lonely. It wasn't very pleasant, and I'm sure it made me feel sad at the same time. A strange longing to leave my place and talk to someone hit me, but my laziness had me stay. I didn't want to leave just yet, even if that meant having to endure a bit of loneliness.

I couldn't tell you how long I had sat there for, but it was most likely a long time. At least, that's what it felt like. In reality it was probably a few minutes or so. Personally it felt like eternity, but it's not like that was a problem. I _did_ want to be alone for a while.

"Jo Anne? Are you out here?" Someone called.

I flinched at the sudden voice and hit my head on the table above me, making a loud noise.

Whoever called me walked over and peeked under, seeing me holding my head. His blue eyes widened a bit and he asked, "What are you doing hiding under a table? Everyone's looking for you!"

I didn't want to leave from under the table, so I simply hugged my knees and buried my head deeper into my knees.

Tamaki sighed. "Please come out. Everybody's worried about you."

Reluctantly I crawled out from under the table, and Tamaki offered his hand to help me stand up. I accepted it, and as he pulled me up he said, "Your fingers are ice cold! How long have you been out here?"

No POV:

Once Jo Anne was standing up their hands let go of each other, and they stood facing each other. Tamaki noticed how her lips had turned slightly blue, and he swore he could see her shivering. Another sign escaped his lips and he wrapped his scarf around her neck, to which she buried her face in.

'It's warm...' She thought.

"Come on, we should head back. The sooner you're somewhere warm, the better." Tamaki said.

Jo Anne didn't move. In fact, it seemed as if she hadn't heard him at all. She just stood there, eyes looking at the ground, and mouth covered by the red scarf.

Just then Tamaki felt something on his shirt, and saw her hand holding it. Still she didn't look up at him, but as he was about to speak she leaned her head on his chest.

She didn't know what she was doing, nonetheless why. Her thoughts seemed to be whirring, but at the same time not working at all. The only thing she could tell is that she was lonely. _So_, so lonely. Desperately she wanted to hold someone, feel their warmth and have a pair of arms securely around her. She couldn't tell if loneliness was the sole factor, or if she wanted a moment safely away from all her anxieties, worries, and doubts.

'Just one minute... That's all...' She thought.

Tamaki was severely confused. Usually Jo Anne didn't like to be touched, especially by him and the twins, but here she was leaning against his chest like it was the most natural thing in the world

She was shivering visibly, but Tamaki didn't want to question whether it was from the cold or if she was trembling for some other reason. He had no idea what was going on in her head, and he knew he wouldn't figure it out. So, he just did what he thought was right.

He hugged her gently, but as her shivering became more and more apparent his arms grew tighter around her. Then, finally, wrapped completely and securely in his arms, she relaxed.

Tamaki pulled back slightly to look at her face, and anticipated what he thought would be a romantic moment, only to find her asleep.

Blissfully, peacefully asleep.

Tamaki laughed at his own disappointment, then carried her back to where she was supposed to be.


	9. Chapter 9

The rest of autumn flew by, and winter hit Tokyo like a snowball to the face. Rain came frequently, the bitter cold nipped at our skin, and our breath swirled in beautiful icy crystals. I loved winter, and now that I had broken free I'd take every chance to enjoy it.

Keith had made a full recovery from his injuries, and he was back at playing football. He was a bit upset that he had to miss most of the season, but he did get to practice with everyone else and give them hell.

My relationships with my family had gone back to normal. I acted as Josephine and everything went well, but as soon as I was alone insanity would cover me like a blanket. I came too close to being caught several times, but I'm noticing that my brother is on top of things. It's almost as if he knows when I'm insane.

Infiltrating my father's office has been impossible. He's always inside or hovering around it, so there's no opportunity to sneak in. His sleeping schedule is irregular, so there's no guaranteed safe time for me to try and break in. Even if I did, the only thing left to do is go through his computer. There's no way for me to get in without a series of passwords, and despite guessing the first few I decided not to push my luck.

My siblings allowed me to go to the Host Club daily, and their complaints stuck to a minimum. The members told me that my siblings had pulled them aside individually and asked them to act like the entire fight with Keith and the events after didn't happen. When they asked why my siblings simply replied, "We don't want her to get hurt."

I don't know if anyone besides Bryce and possibly my father know about what the medicine does. Bold statements and declarations would certainly give me away, and the thought of reverting back to Josephine terrified me so much I didn't even dare drop subtle hints. If I wanted to get rid of Josephine for good, I'd have to play it safe.

Early morning, six forty-five a.m. I had snuck out and did my usual morning jog, eventually reaching a small abandoned park I liked to exercise at. I'd swing my legs over the monkey bars, hanging upside down and doing sit ups. The base of the slide is where I'd place my hands and do push-ups. A small hill served as my uphill exercise area.

It reached seven thirty a.m., so I hurriedly left the park and snuck back in my house. A quick wash of my face made me look normal, and after slipping on my dress and untying my hair I went down to breakfast.

"Sissy, there's a chance of rain later today. You should take your umbrella, just in case." Madilyn said, handing me a black, pocket sized one.

"Make sure to take an extra jacket. It's only going to get colder today." Joshua added, placing a jacket over my shoulders.

I smiled. "You all worry about me so much. Thank you, but I think I should be okay. If something happens, I'll be sure to call you right away."

Bryce stood in front of me and zipped the jacket up, looking at me with determination.

That's right. Ever since Josephine took hold of my body, it's become unused to the harsh outdoor weather. I don't recognize it when I'm working out, but if I'm on the down low at school my body won't be able to keep itself warm.

I smiled again. "Okay. I'll wear it."

My family still wouldn't let me walk to school. Especially now they were adamant that I took the car, saying the cold is too severe for my body. It was tiring.

I waved goodbye to my siblings and placed my shoes in my locker, stuffing the little umbrella in with it.

"Josephine! Ohayou!"

I turned and saw Tamaki coming from the main gate, and my face lit up instantly.

"Tamaki! Ohayou!"

"Are your siblings around?" He asked quietly.

"No, they left a minute ago. Why?"

"I wanted to let you know that Kyoya looked into those tablets you gave him. He has some information from his med labs."

"Really!? He does!?"

Tamaki smiled and nodded. "He said he can talk to you about it after school."

"Great! Thank you Tamaki! I'll be sure to thank Kyoya properly when I see him later!"

He laughed. "You're really excited about this, aren't you?"

"Of course I am! This may be the next step in getting rid of Josephine for good!"

Without me noticing, Tamaki had walked me all the way to my classroom. He even opened the door for me.

The bell for class was about to ring, and as he was about to leave he lightly bopped me on the head with something.

"I'll see you later!" He called from the door.

I looked at what he handed me with curiosity.

"A Christmas catalogue…? Weirdo."

I shoved the catalogue in my backpack, and class started.

The garden was a bit gloomy, and the vibrant colors seemed almost dull without much sunlight. A deep sigh escaped my lips, and I stretched myself out a bit.

"Josephine? Is that you?"

I turned quickly and met eyes with someone I hadn't talked to in a long time. My cute, red haired buddy Kasanoda.

"Kasanoda! Long time no see!" I said, half skipping, half bouncing over to him. "What's up?"

"I just wanted so take a stroll here, since I haven't in a while… What about you?" He asked.

"I come here every day. It's where I eat lunch."

"By yourself?"

"Yeah, usually. Sometimes Haruhi will eat with me, but most of the time Hikaru and Kaoru take him from me."

"Don't you get lonely?" He asked.

Lonely? I don't have much time to think about being lonely. If I'm alone I usually explore my mind, trying to figure out my insanity by direct investigation. Any other time I'm either with the club, working out, or pretending to be Josephine.

"Hmm… No, I don't really get lonely. What about you? Who do you eat lunch with?"

He retracted a little bit.

"I don't usually… eat lunch with people…"

"What? Kasanoda, don't _you_ get lonely?"

No POV:

Kasanoda was confused. He found it a bit strange how this little girl didn't seem to be the least bit intimidated by him, as if she didn't notice his scary appearance in the first place. Hell, she even called him _cute_. He'd never been called cute before that!

"Well, I wouldn't say I get lonely-"

She cut him off and pointed at him, exclaiming, "Look here Kasanoda, you may put on a cool tough guy act, but I can tell you're nothing but a huge sweetheart! From now on, you're eating lunch with me!"

There was a second of silence, and Kasanoda had cast his gaze down to the ground. After a long moment he asked, "Are you sure? Aren't you scared of me?"

The air surrounding them was quiet for another minute, and sensing something was wrong, Kasanoda looked up.

Josephine's eyes were dark and hollow, staring not at Kasanoda but seemingly through him. He was about to speak up, but suddenly her eyes focused and she smiled evilly.

"Oh, _I_ should be scared of _you_, huh? Ohoho, you're gravely mistaken sir. I believe _you_ should be scared of _me_."

She took a step towards him, unsure of her footing and nearly falling over, but somehow stayed up and took another step. Her hand extended towards the wall of rosebushes and grabbed one by the stem, pulling it so it broke off. The thorns pierced her palm, and the rest of the stem had even more intimidating spikes.

Josephine swung the thorny stem at Kasanoda, but he had jumped back in time.

"Hahaha, why are you running? Are you actually scared of me? I never expected that from _you_." She said.

"H-hey, calm down! You're going to hurt someone!" Kasanoda exclaimed.

"That's the point!" Josephine yelled, launching herself at Kasanoda.

When he realized that she wasn't playing around, he knew she had to be stopped. As she launched herself at him he grabbed her wrist, holding it tightly so she wouldn't be able to hit him. Her other hand, balled into a fist, raced towards his face. He caught that hand too, and once Josephine realized she wasn't able to hit him she started to struggle.

"Let go of me!" She exclaimed, struggling and jerking against Kasanoda's grip.

"Snap out of it! What's wrong with you?" Kasanoda yelled back, holding her fist tighter.

Josephine clenched her teeth, and with one huge tug she lost her footing. Kasanoda got swept up in the force of her pull and fell with her, and they both crashed on the ground.

Jo Anne POV:

The insanity suddenly disappeared, and as I raced to recollect my thoughts my back began stinging for some reason. I looked up and saw Kasanoda's face, seemingly bracing for impact.

"Kasanoda?"

His eyes opened and he looked down at me. "Josephine? Are you okay?"

"Jo Anne! I came to eat lunch with you toda-"

I looked over and saw Tamaki, who had cut himself off in the middle of his sentence, and suddenly realized how bad the situation must look. Kasanoda on top of me and holding my wrists, my hand bleeding and clasping a rose as I was lying on the ground, all while in the middle of a secluded area in the garden.

Oh hell, Tamaki's going to freak out.

In an instant Tamaki had shoved Kasanoda against the wall of rosebushes, holding him tightly by the collar and glaring intensely.

"You bastard! What the hell do you think you're doing!?" Tamaki screamed.

"W-wait, Suoh! It's not what you think, I swear!" Kasanoda exclaimed, putting his hands up defensively.

"Don't you dare try and lie to me! What else could you have been-"

"Tamaki!"

Suoh stopped his screaming and looked at me, still holding Kasanoda's collar tightly.

"It's not his fault. I went insane and attacked him. When he tried stopping me I pulled to hard and we fell."

Tamaki slowly released Kasanoda and apologized. "I'm sorry. I jumped to conclusions."

"It's okay." Kasanoda replied, "I probably would have done the same thing."

I was quiet for a minute.

"Are you okay?" Tamaki asked, holding his hand out to me.

"I'm kind of scared. It's been a long time since I went crazy and tried to hurt someone. I guess I kind of forgot I could." I replied honestly, taking his hand and pulling myself up.

Tamaki's hand lingered on mine for a second, but just as I noticed it he let go. "Do you think it's getting worse?"

The warmth on my hand pulled my attention away from them, and I saw a drop of blood trailing down my hand towards the ground. I pulled some bandages out of my bag and attempted to wrap my bleeding hand, but since only one hand was available I was mostly just wasting bandages.

Tamaki noticed and took them from me, gently wrapping my hand after wiping the blood.

"She really likes making you cut yourself on thorns. It happened a while ago too, didn't it?" Tamaki asked.

"Yeah, it's kind of scary. I think she's getting desperate."

"I'm getting worried. This may not be a big thing, but if it gets worse something bad may happen."

"Kasanoda." I said, keeping my eyes on my wrapped hand.

"Y-yes!" He exclaimed, caught off guard and flustered.

"Do you want to know what's happening?"

"...Yeah. I do."

"So, that's why I attacked you. I'm sorry." I finished.

Kasanoda looked at the ground with a despondent look on his face. "So... You're keeping this a secret from your siblings?"

"Yeah. I need to keep it quiet until I know the medicine won't be effective anymore."

"Okay. I'll keep it a secret, then. I won't tell anyone."

I smiled. "Thanks, Kasanoda. It means a lot."

Lunch ended shortly after that, and I had to hurry to make it to class on time.

After school that day I didn't go straight to the clubroom. Instead I went back into the gardens, hoping to get a little piece of mind. I've been getting headaches a lot lately. The kind that make your head pound in your ears and give your mind that numb feeling. Normally I'd be worried, but I refused to tell anyone. It'd be a sign that I'm not taking the medicine anymore. The headache means I'm becoming immune to its effects and learning to deal with them naturally.

I was having one of those headaches now, and it was so severe I almost toppled over with every step.

It's hot... really, really hot.

I slid the jacket off my shoulders, and the scarf came off after it. The chilly air around me seemed the opposite. It was more like I was sitting outside in the middle of summer, and the long sleeves and petticoat on this dress weren't helping.

Suddenly, I was surrounded by fire. Smoldering rubble and intense flames heated the air around me even more. Under my feet was an ash-covered Persian rug, and to my left a crystal chandelier had fallen.

The roof above me creaked, and without a second wasted I jumped out of the way as it crashed down.

"Tommy!"

I looked up at the sound and saw a woman, reaching down towards me from the new hole in the roof.

"Mom!?" I called out.

"Get out of here! Run as fast as you can!"

"No! I'm not leaving without you!"

"Tommy, get out-!"

Before she could finish her sentence more of the floor collapsed, and she came down with it.

Within an instant a bloodcurdling scream pierced the crashing of the rubble, and as the embers and ash settled another scream sounded.

That woman had a beam straight through her, holding her up like a sacrifice with the flames dancing at her feet.

"_Mooom_!"

"Tho...mas... Go..." She choked, blood spurting from her mouth.

Tears leaked from my eyes, but I did as she wished and ran as fast as I could. Even as I got farther and farther away I could hear her screams as she burned alive. That was scary, yes, but when I couldn't hear anything anymore I was terrified. She was either dead, or so badly damaged and suffering that she couldn't even scream anymore.

I was almost out of the mansion when someone grabbed me by the arms and pulled me up. Only then did I realize I was child sized, and not only that. I was a little boy, with messy brown hair that came close to covering my eyes. My clothes had been tattered and ripped, smeared in both ash and blood.

I thrashed violently against them, kicking and screaming like my life depended on it.

"Jo!"

Instantly my thrashing stopped. Who was Jo? My name is Thomas, not Jo. Who is this person? I've never heard their voice before... They must have set the fire! They're going to hurt me!

I jumped away from the person, but right when I looked back at him I nearly fainted. It was an older version of me!

My heart heaved and my knees went weak, causing me to rely on the floor for help. Blonde curls sprouted from my head and my body grew, scaring me tremendously until it hit me.

I'm Jo.

The insanity slammed down on me, instantaneously taking control and having me lash out at him.

Suddenly he disappeared, and I felt something wet start to drip on me. Seconds later I felt it again, and before I could register what was happening the flames started to go down.

It's raining...

The smoldering red wall of the mansion faded away with the flames, turning into the green wall of rosebushes. The rain began coming down harder, soaking into my clothes.

This feels nice...

As the insanity faded and my mind started to clear, that name rang in my head for a long time.

Thomas…

"Jo Anne? Are you out here?" I heard someone call.

That sounds like Tamaki...

I walked out of the rose gardens and reached the fountain, where I found him looking for me. He was under a black umbrella, and when he saw me his eyes went wide.

"What are you doing out here without an umbrella? You're soaked!"

"I don't want one." I replied, my senses still a bit dull.

Tamaki sighed. "Come on, let's get you inside. You'll catch a cold out here."

I didn't resist and followed him.


	10. Chapter 10

Tamaki took me back to the clubroom, where everyone had been waiting, and put a warm towel over my head. I accepted it gratefully, feeling the heat on my upper back and cheeks. My frigid fingers held the end of the warm towel, absorbing its heat greedily.

"Here, take this extra uniform. It's the only one we have, but at least it's dry." Kyoya said, handing me a bag.

"Thank you." I replied, taking the bag from him. "I'll go change now."

The uniform was a bit too big, but the jacket and pants were much warmer than my soaked dress. They were comfier too, and I felt like they hugged me better.

I pulled back the curtain after using the towel to dry off my hair a bit, and everyone was relaxing. With towel in hand I made my way to Haruhi and sat beside him, and he greeted me with a smile.

"Hey Jo Anne. Would you like some tea?" He asked.

"Um… Sure, yeah. Tea sounds nice." I replied.

"Are you okay?" Haruhi asked, sensing that I was a bit off.

"…I have a headache…" I replied honestly.

"It's probably from standing out in the rain. You should be a bit more careful." He replied.

I pursed my lips, and a sudden chill went all over my body. Something was happening to me, and I didn't like it. It started that night on Halloween, I know it. Almost like something new was trying to break me down, double timing with Josephine. The only thing was I had no idea how to fight it. I haven't gone insane since Halloween, and I think that whatever I working with Josephine I preventing me from it.

Then, I realized. I haven't gone insane in a little over a month. Not being able to let everything go and have a flash of insanity means that all of it is building up, accumulating and being held back as long as possible, so that when I _do_ go insane there'll be no stopping whatever I do. I _need_ to go insane, and I need to do it _now_.

Haruhi set a teacup in front of me, snapping me out of my thoughts, and asked me something.

"Do you want some aspirin or something? I have some in my backpack."

I shook my head and looked at my knees, fiddling with my hands and avoiding his eyes. I felt off, and I had felt that way since Halloween, but I felt it more intensely now. It seemed like something was about to happen.

And it did.

My head hurt. It pounded in my ears, and as the seconds ticked my both my sight and heading faded to nothing. Then suddenly, it was as if something snapped.

No POV:

"Jo Anne...?" Honey said gently, walking closer to her.

She started laughing, darkly and evilly. She got up off the couch, standing up with her neck at a weird angle. "This feels great! That girl sure does know how to _hack_ off the pounds. I haven't been this fit in years!"

"Josephine..." Haruhi breathed out.

Josephine looked at Haruhi, and a wide smile covered her face. "Aah, Haruhi. It's nice to see you again. How are you?"

"Where's Jo Anne?" Haruhi asked.

Josephine furrowed her brow. "It's a bit disappointing you want to _cut_ to the chase. Don't you miss me?"

"How are you here? Jo Anne hasn't touched her medicine." Tamaki snarled.

"Hmm, I wonder. Maybe she's just weaker than I am?"

"What...?"

"Think about it. If someone is _hacking_ away at your sanity, constantly trying to undermine you, and even driving you to the point of _slicing_ your own skin..." She continued, pulling up the sleeve of her dress and showing both old and fresh cuts, "don't you think she'd give up eventually?"

"But... Jo Anne... Said nothing was wrong..." Honey said.

Josephine turned to him, kneeling down to meet his eyes. "And you believed her? Sweetheart, with me still in the picture, she should be dead before her second year."

Honey gasped, and it seemed like he was about to cry.

Just then Josephine's eyes turned extremely dark, almost dead, and her hands reached out to Honey. Before anyone could react they clamped around his neck, and she started laughing as she squeezed harder.

Instantly Honey had been taken by Mori, and the twins ripped Josephine away by her arms. Honey began bawling, and her laughter echoed around the room.

"What's wrong Honey? Are you scared?" She asked. "Let go of me, you heathens!"

She started laughing again and said, "I see, I see. You all think I'm dangerous. She'll do worse to you all than I ever could! Do you think this is me!? It's _her_! She's the one that hurt him!"

"Jo Anne would never hurt us." Tamaki said.

"Don't let your love blind you, Suoh. She's got something that'd kill all of you instantly."

"And what could that be?" Kyoya asked, stone faced.

"Your friendship."

Everyone flinched.

"What would you do if she killed herself? What would you do if I killed her? Heh, I'll bet you, that before I can do anything..." Her eyes looked up from the floor, meeting directly with Honey's and screamed, "She'll kill you all!"

Then, her entire body went limp. If the twins hadn't been holding her so tightly, she would have fallen flat on the floor.

Jo Anne POV:

When I came to, my arms were being held up by something. Then I noticed a breeze on my arm, and before I noticed anything else I hurried to cover them back up.

"Jo Anne... Is that you...?"

_Tamaki_!? Did he see them!? Did everyone see them!? Do my siblings know!?

I instantly shot up, but I was hit with a wave of dizziness and had to take a moment to recollect myself. Then, I remembered.

"What did she do?" I asked.

"What?"

"What did she do!? Did she hurt anyone!?"

Mirthful when the words left my mouth, the image of my hands around a crying Honey's neck flashed in my mind.

I looked over, and he was being held tightly by Mori. He looked so scared of me, and it broke my heart. It was the exact look my brother gave me the first time I had hurt him.

"Honey..." I choked, coming to tears myself. "I'm sorry... I'm so, so sorry..." I bit my lip, trying to hold back the tears, but what Tamaki asked made me lose it.

"When did you start cutting?"

It was about a week after I had broken into my dad's drawer. I had walked into the bathroom before school to brush my hair, and right when I met my reflection's eyes I heard a voice.

_The razor._

What?

_The razor._

That's Josephine's voice. I know it. Why is it so dark and scary?

_The razor!_

I flinched. She sounded crazy now, desperate and scared, screeching at me like a dying animal. There's no way I'm touching that razor.

Thinking that, I turned and walked out of the bathroom.

It was idiotic of me to think it would stop there. After that time in the bathroom she became more apparent and consistent, telling me to jump out of windows and off balconies. She told me to swallow either my regular mess to bring her back, or take a large handful. Every time she appeared, she told me to cut.

She was seriously trying to kill me.

After awhile, it became unbearable. Those people that had been taken off medication had been unreachable. I hadn't found a single name, email, or phone number. I even told myself, 'If something doesn't happen soon, I might have to start acting rashly.'

Dad almost caught me in his study, but it was completely worth it. I found a folder with the password to his computer, so now I just needed to wait until he left for his business trip again. The problem was, I had no idea how far away that was.

To top it off, Josephine had begun talking to me all the time. It became harder and harder to ignore her, and one day, I couldn't take it anymore. I grabbed the razor from the bathroom and ran the sharp edge across my arm.

It felt great.

As time passed on, my arms, my stomach, my thighs... Josephine loved them. She made me cut them all the time. My arms were her favorite though, since she could see the veins. I was getting closer and closer to my wrists, but I could never take her talking all the time.

"A long time ago... Months ago..." I said.

Just then, something touched my head. I looked up and saw Honey smiling down at me.

Slowly, very slowly, I reached my arms around him. He seemed just the slightest bit scared, and Mori was ready to take action, but as I started to bawl Honey hugged me back.

"I'm sorry... I'm so sorry, Honey..." I repeated over and over again.

I didn't go to the host club yesterday, or the day before that. I've stationed myself in another part of the garden so Tamaki wouldn't find me, gone to that little room as I had before, and took different routes to my classes. I was determined not to hurt them again.

I'd been hit with a wave of severe wave of depression. I was sad all the time, and my cutting became so severe I was afraid to even look at my razor.

One day, a short time after my lash out, my depression was at an all-time low. I didn't want to talk to anyone, or even look at them. My cutting had gotten severely worse, and in the last 72 hours I had covered my arms in sleeves of marks. They stung, but the pain kept Josephine away.

I trudged down the hallway, shoulders slumped and feet dragging against the tile. No one attempted to talk to me, and I was grateful for it. Then, I heard my name from down the hallway.

"Josephine!"

Huh? Is that who I think it is?

"Josephine! Wait up!"

As I turned to see who was calling my name, a mess of blonde hair stopped before me.

"Josephine!" He huffed, panting and out of breath. "Finally I found you!"

"Tamaki, what are you doing here? You don't have any classes around this hall."

He took a deep breath to try and cease his heavy breathing, then said, "I wanted to ask you something. Since you've been sad lately..." A smile covered his face and he said, "How about you go on a date with me?"

Later that night, after dinner, I stood before my mother and father. For some reason I was extremely nervous; so nervous my palms began to sweat.

"Mother, Father... I... have a date tomorrow..."

My father looked at me, and after a couple of seconds he asked, "Do you like this boy?"

A deep blush covered my face due to the unexpected question, and I turned my face away. "Not really..."

My mother smiled. "Who is it? Do we know this boy?"

"His name is Suoh. Tamaki Suoh." I replied, shuffling my feet.

"Ah, I met him when he was just a little boy. I've only seen pictures recently, but he's so handsome!" My mother exclaimed happily. "What do you think, dear?"

"Hmm, I don't see a problem with it. Just be sure to take your medicine tomorrow morning and take some emergency pills in your bag. Be home before seven." My father replied.

"So... May I go?"

My dad smiled.

Suddenly, I felt unbelievably excited. "Thank you Father! Thank you so much! I swear I'll be home on time! Thank you!"

I felt a bit dumb for doting over my outfit the night before, but when I put it on along with some makeup and styled hair, I couldn't wait to see Tamaki's reaction. But, due to my scars, I had to slide a jacket over my shoulders. It was black and fitting, going perfectly with my white flowy dress. It went down to my ankles, but because of the cold winter weather I had on a pair of black thermals under it. Some white sandals covered my feet, and I wrapped Tamaki's red scarf around my neck. My toes had been painted red the night before, and my nails were black. I've had his scarf since that night I ended up in the rain, and I just never remembered to give it back. He must have forgotten too, since he never asked for it.

I was getting ready to go out the door when my two brothers ambushed me.

"Where are you going?"

"What are you doing?"

"You look so cute today!"

"Is it a boy?"

"Who is it?"

"Do we know him?"

"Bro, do you have the bat?"

"Are you dating him?"

"Can we kill him?"

"Is he picking you up?"

"Does he have a car?"

"Are you taking the car?"

Their ruckus and endless questions attracted my siblings, and soon they all began questioning me.

"When did you meet him?"

"How long have you been dating?"

"Has he kissed you yet?"

"Is he tall?"

"Is he cute?"

"Has he ever made you sad?"

"Has he done anything to you?"

My little brother stopped them by pushing past and grabbing my sleeve. "Who is it?"

I looked away. "Tamaki Suoh."

"WhAT!?"

"Josephine, you can't go out with him!"

"He's trouble! Besides, he's a host!"

"That's the definition of a player! A heartbreaker!"

"I'm not dating him... He's just taking me out because I've been a bit down lately. He wanted to cheer me up. Nothing special."

Bryce tugged on my sleeve a little, causing me to look down at him.

"He's a loser. I don't like him."

I laughed. "That's a mean thing to say. He's really nice to me, and he always knows what to say to make me happy. He is an idiot sometimes, though."

"Just be careful." Madilyn said.

A gentle smile covered my face. "I will."

I finally made it to the meeting place, five minutes early, and I didn't see Tamaki. I was sure that as a host he knew to arrive to a date ten minutes early, but at the same time I had a small voice in my head spewing doubts. They were quickly silenced, though, when I saw a mess of blonde hair about forty feet away.

"Ta-!"

My call cut itself off when I saw him caressing the face of another girl. I was too far away to hear exactly what he was saying, but his body language, and definitely hers, suggested it wasn't anything less than intimate.

I couldn't help but feel a little betrayed. He was taking me out on a date today, so that means that he should only be looking at me. He shouldn't be flirting with some other girl, and definitely not being that familiar. And in a public place! Oh, what a little-!

"Jo Anne!"

Someone grabbed my shoulder, and I turned to see Tamaki. That other girl seemed a bit confused, and I assumed he had spotted me and ditched her. As soon as his eyes met mine, it seemed like he froze. I'm sure he contemplated grabbing the wrong person, but no one else around her looked much like me.

"Let go of me." I snapped, smacking his hand away.

He looked confused, and snapped himself back to reality. "What's wrong?"

"This is stupid. I'm going home." I replied, turning and walking.

"Wait!" He exclaimed, grabbing my hand. "Why are you leaving? What's wrong?"

"You're really conceited, you know that?" I snarled.

"Huh?"

"I get that you're a host, and it's your job to make girls happy or whatever, but when you ask a girl out on a date you can't do things like that. You don't flirt with someone else, get really touchy feely with them when you're waiting for someone else. That's extremely rude."

"What? I wasn't doing anything-"

"I may not be like the other girls in your little club, but I am a girl nonetheless. I have expectations and feelings just like the rest of them, and even though they're probably really different, a little courtesy and loyalty is more common sense than anything. If you can't even do that, then I'm leaving."

"I'm sorry." Tamaki said. "It's kind of a habit."

I sighed, and turned to face him. "If you want me to go on a date with you, then just for today, you're only allowed to look at me."

A couple of seconds passed, and his cheeks turned incredibly red. He brought his hand up to his face and averted his eyes, and through his embarrassment I heard him mutter, "Okay."


End file.
